Tuesday 1/17

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Panty-hose raid? –  A Cleveland-area man went on one of those the other day, demanding that a teenager hand over the pair she was wearing — so that he could use them for an on-the-fly car fix. The man, who is still at large, approached the 16-year-old in a shopping mall parking lot and told her he needed her hose to patch his hose — the one attached to the exhaust system in his car. She complied and passed them over, at which point he legged it out of the parking structure.

Armed with arms –  A prison inmate in Iowa gave prosecutors a hand with keeping him behind bars by claiming he was so disabled that he couldn’t use his arms — then doing dozens of push-ups in his prison cell. Anquin St. Junius, who was jailed on suspicion of assaulting a bartender, wanted a sympathy release on grounds that he can’t move his arms or walk for more than 15 seconds at a time. Unfortunately for St. Junius, there was a surveillance camera right outside his holding cell, which captured his workout in all its sweaty glory.  Instead of freedom, he wound up having his bail doubled, and remains in the clink.

Take that!  No!  This!  – A British crook who thought his heist was in the bag found out otherwise when he approached a bank teller with a gun in one hand and a getaway bag in the other — only to point the bag at the victim, and hand him the gun instead!  The cashier pressed an alarm button and made a grab for the gun, but the wanna-be thief managed to escape — without a penny of the bank’s proceeds. He did steal an employee’s bicycle to flee the scene, however. A police spokesperson noted, “This man is not the sharpest tool in the box.”

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