Purposefully punched

black_eye_manThe Fairbanks Department of Public Safety said troopers responded around 11:30 p.m. to a Fairbanks address when Tony Gesin, called 911 and accused his neighbor of assaulting him. Department of Public Safety spokeswoman Megan Peters said Gesin and the neighbor have been engaged in a civil dispute about property. Turns out Gesin hit himself in the face because he wanted to have his neighbor arrested. It was arrested on a charge of giving a false report.

Iowa man Sean Flaherty was spotted running around a parking lot, hitting numerous cars with a bottle in an attempt to break out their taillights –because, in his words, “red means danger to the republic.” Cops responding to the scene that there was plenty of red in Flaherty’s eyes – as well as a strong aroma of alcohol coming out of his system. He ended up doing about $600 worth of damage and was charged with criminal mischief.

Tennessee man Billy Cantrell broke into the home of neighbor Stephen Medley and stole a carton that he thought was packed with narcotics, but when he got it home, he found that it contained the remains of Medley’s mother, who’d died recently. It’s not clear whether or not Cantrell snorted any of the deceased woman’s ashes, but he’s likely to get a sentence that’s nothing to sniff at – since he’s been charged with aggravated burglary.


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