Purposefully punched

black_eye_manThe Fair­banks Depart­ment of Pub­lic Safety said troop­ers responded around 11:30 p.m. to a Fair­banks address when Tony Gesin, called 911 and accused his neigh­bor of assault­ing him. Depart­ment of Pub­lic Safety spokes­woman Megan Peters said Gesin and the neigh­bor have been engaged in a civil dis­pute about prop­erty. Turns out Gesin hit him­self in the face because he wanted to have his neigh­bor arrested. It was arrested on a charge of giv­ing a false report.

Iowa man Sean Fla­herty was spot­ted run­ning around a park­ing lot, hit­ting numer­ous cars with a bot­tle in an attempt to break out their tail­lights –because, in his words, “red means dan­ger to the repub­lic.” Cops respond­ing to the scene that there was plenty of red in Flaherty’s eyes – as well as a strong aroma of alco­hol com­ing out of his sys­tem. He ended up doing about $600 worth of dam­age and was charged with crim­i­nal mischief.

Ten­nessee man Billy Cantrell broke into the home of neigh­bor Stephen Med­ley and stole a car­ton that he thought was packed with nar­cotics, but when he got it home, he found that it con­tained the remains of Medley’s mother, who’d died recently. It’s not clear whether or not Cantrell snorted any of the deceased woman’s ashes, but he’s likely to get a sen­tence that’s noth­ing to sniff at – since he’s been charged with aggra­vated burglary.


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