A baby daiquiri

A Vir­ginia man is grumpy because some­one went into his yard when he was sleepy – and stole one of the Seven Dwarfs fig­ures he keeps there for dec­o­ra­tion. Ron Water­man says he spent nine months clean­ing, repair­ing and repaint­ing the con­crete lawn orna­ments before plac­ing them out – but just a few days later, some­one sneaky and stealthy came around and made off with the statue of Bash­ful, along with the dwarf house at the cen­ter of the dis­play. He fig­ures the act was com­mit­ted by a group, since the house alone weighed in at 400 pounds. Water­man has left the remain­ing six dwarfs in the yard, along with a sign that reads: “Please return my dwarf. No ques­tions asked. If I find it on your prop­erty, I will call the law.”

pregnant woman with a gunNew Orleans cops are look­ing for a woman who was thirsty enough to pull a gun in order to steal a frozen drink from a bar – which is under­stand­able, since wit­nesses say she looked to be preg­nant. The woman walked into a tav­ern on famed Bour­bon Street and helped her­self to a daiquiri when the bar­tender wasn’t look­ing. When he caught a glimpse of what she doing and went over to con­front her, she pulled out the weapon and threat­ened to shoot him before walk­ing out sip­ping her pinched punch. That’s one way to cure morn­ing sickness.

 A British man has some jail time on tap after he broke into a pub in the mid­dle of the night to have a cou­ple of rounds – then fell asleep after knock­ing back one too many. Adam Bell let him­self into the tav­ern after clos­ing time and started help­ing him­self to some beer directly from the tap. The brew proved to be way too pow­er­ful for him and when the pro­pri­etor walked in the next morn­ing he found Bell passed out on the floor. So he called the cops. Bell had also busted into the pool table to steal the change inside, and was charged with sev­eral counts of burglary.

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