A belly full of excuses


A New Mex­ico gro­cery store clerk told Albu­querque police that Patrick Silva told her he had a gun and threat­ened to shoot her if belly rubshe didn’t hand over some money. So she gave him a bag of cash and Silva took off run­ning. Police later found him hid­ing in a pickup truck. But he tells a much dif­fer­ent and laugh­able ver­sion of the story. Silva claims that he asked the clerk for change and while he was scratch­ing an itch on his stom­ach, she thought he was reach­ing for a gun and handed him money. He argued that any­one who is handed money for no rea­son would take it.

 

Florida woman Nancy Mullis started her day before sun­rise at a mar­ket, where she picked some Raisinets off a shelf and walked out the front door, taunt­ing staff by wav­ing the bag at them as she strolled out. Her get­away wasn’t as sweet as she’d hoped, though. Mullis was given a tres­pass warn­ing and a sum­mons for theft. The Raisinets were returned to the store. But Mullis wasn’t done. A few hours later, she re-appeared at a Fam­ily Dol­lar store, where she began throw­ing items off the shelves and shout­ing that she was a god and was enti­tled to behave any way she wanted. After flip­ping over a cig­a­rette dis­play and a news­pa­per vend­ing machine, Mullins was arrested on a dis­or­derly con­ducted charge and taken to jail.

 
Ore­gon City police had to res­cue a man who fell into the Willamette River. That’s not a big deal. Rivers are dan­ger­ous. It could hap­pen to any of us. But this 31-year-old guy was high on drugs. And, naked. There, on the river­bank. And it was around 2 o’clock in the after­noon. The cops on the scene tried to talk to the guy, but he drifted into an uncon­scious state and plopped into the river. Luck­ily the boys in blue were able to make an emer­gency res­cue with a marine unit and pull him into the boat and get him to a hospital

 

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