“There’s a big, brown snake in the toilet” sounds like something a 5th grade boy would say to his buddies, but for a woman in Singapore it was meant quite literally. The 34-year-old sat down on the toilet and immediately felt a sharp pain. When she stood up, she was horrified to find a six-foot-long brown python in the toilet with its fangs embedded into her thigh. Animal control tried to wrangle up the reptile but it got away. She was taken to the hospital. It’s believed the slithering sewer dweller got into the toilet through a crack in the plumbing.
A North Carolina police officer reportedly saw Ryan Smallwood sitting in a Waffle House booth “flipping the bird” on Saturday morning while his pants were around his ankles. The officer told Smallwood, who did have his boxers on, to pull up his pants and he complied. It seems that since he couldn’t show his “smallwood” he was going to talk about it…to other patrons. He was told he had to leave the restaurant or he would be placed under arrest. After he argued with the officer and failed to leave, Smallwood was arrested and charged with public disorderly conduct.
Officers were called to the scene after someone heard a loud crash in a parking lot. Cops discovered Tonia Grange’s car parked diagonally in a parking spot in her apartment complex. When they found her, she was “eating with French fries all over her shirt.” Grange told officers that she had drunk “too many” vodka and cranberry juices (and not enough munchies apparently) and then blew 0.292 and 0.306 during two breathalyzer tests. She was arrested and charged with two counts of child abuse that could result in physical or mental injury of a child (because her two kids were in the car too) and DUI. Grange admitted to police that she made a mistake.