...and it was THIS big!

“There’s a big, brown snake in the toi­let” sounds like some­thing a 5th grade boy would say to his toilet snakebud­dies, but for a woman in Sin­ga­pore it was meant quite lit­er­ally. The 34-year-old sat down on the toi­let and imme­di­ately felt a sharp pain. When she stood up, she was hor­ri­fied to find a six-foot-long brown python in the toi­let with its fangs embed­ded into her thigh. Ani­mal con­trol tried to wran­gle up the rep­tile but it got away.  She was taken to the hos­pi­tal.  It’s believed the slith­er­ing sewer dweller got into the toi­let through a crack in the plumbing. 

A North Car­olina police offi­cer report­edly saw Ryan Small­wood sit­ting in a Waf­fle House booth “flip­ping the bird” on Sat­ur­day morn­ing while his pants were around his ankles.  The offi­cer told Small­wood, who did have his box­ers on, to pull up his pants and he com­plied.  It seems that since he couldn’t show his “small­wood” he was going to talk about it…to other patrons. He was told he had to leave the restau­rant or he would be placed under arrest. After he argued with the offi­cer and failed to leave, Small­wood was arrested and charged with pub­lic dis­or­derly conduct.

Offi­cers were called to the scene after some­one heard a loud crash in a park­ing lot. Cops dis­cov­ered Tonia Grange’s car parked diag­o­nally in a park­ing spot in her apart­ment com­plex.  When they found her, she was “eat­ing with French fries all over her shirt.” Grange told offi­cers that she had drunk “too many” vodka and cran­berry juices (and not enough munchies appar­ently) and then blew 0.292 and 0.306 dur­ing two breath­a­lyzer tests.  She was arrested and charged with two counts of child abuse that could result in phys­i­cal or men­tal injury of a child (because her two kids were in the car too) and DUI. Grange admit­ted to police that she made a mistake.

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