Asleep on the job

Police say a drunken Russ­ian guy spent all of his money at a local bar and didn’t have any for cab fare asleep at the wheel– so, nat­u­rally, he decided the best idea was to steal a car and drive home. But after break­ing a win­dow and smash­ing the igni­tion mount­ing, he sud­denly became very sleepy and passed out.  The next morn­ing, the car’s owner came along, noticed the drunk in his car and called police. He’s been charged with drunk­en­ness, attempted theft, and crim­i­nal dam­age. 

Huang Lingy­ong was dri­ving down a road in China at nearly 70 miles per hour when he slammed into a chicken in the mid­dle of the street. Huang thought he’d made nuggets out of the bird, but found that the chicken had actu­ally smashed beak-first into his bumper, where it remained until he pulled over. The dri­ver said, “I thought it must be dead but then I heard a cluck-clucking and bent down to look closer. It was a lit­tle shaken up and its feath­ers all ruf­fled, but oth­er­wise OK. It seemed to be a very good adver­tise­ment for the dura­bil­ity of chick­ens and a very bad one for the qual­ity of [my] car.”

A 20-year-old appar­ently couldn’t wait to get to “Sin City,” so she and a fel­low pas­sen­ger, whom she just met on the plane, planned a sexy mile-high ren­dezvous in the bath­room of the Vir­gin air­line jet.  Pas­sen­gers in the rear of the plane knew some­thing was going on because they heard loud noises, so they alerted the crew who busted open the door and stopped them. The young woman then became aggres­sive and crew mem­bers were forced to hand­cuff her to her seat for the remain­der of the flight. She was ques­tioned by author­i­ties when the plane landed and released with a warn­ing. Oh, her par­ents were on the same flight and were seated nearby.


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