Asleep on the job

Police say a drunken Russian guy spent all of his money at a local bar and didn’t have any for cab fare asleep at the wheel– so, naturally, he decided the best idea was to steal a car and drive home. But after breaking a window and smashing the ignition mounting, he suddenly became very sleepy and passed out.  The next morning, the car’s owner came along, noticed the drunk in his car and called police. He’s been charged with drunkenness, attempted theft, and criminal damage. 

Huang Lingyong was driving down a road in China at nearly 70 miles per hour when he slammed into a chicken in the middle of the street. Huang thought he’d made nuggets out of the bird, but found that the chicken had actually smashed beak-first into his bumper, where it remained until he pulled over. The driver said, “I thought it must be dead but then I heard a cluck-clucking and bent down to look closer. It was a little shaken up and its feathers all ruffled, but otherwise OK. It seemed to be a very good advertisement for the durability of chickens and a very bad one for the quality of [my] car.”

A 20-year-old apparently couldn’t wait to get to “Sin City,” so she and a fellow passenger, whom she just met on the plane, planned a sexy mile-high rendezvous in the bathroom of the Virgin airline jet.  Passengers in the rear of the plane knew something was going on because they heard loud noises, so they alerted the crew who busted open the door and stopped them. The young woman then became aggressive and crew members were forced to handcuff her to her seat for the remainder of the flight. She was questioned by authorities when the plane landed and released with a warning. Oh, her parents were on the same flight and were seated nearby.

 

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