Assault by snore!

A Wis­con­sin man called 911 to report that a woman he’d hooked up with in a drunken stu­por had come home and assaulted him – with her ridicu­lously loud snor­ing.  Ben­jamin Dud­dles dialed the emer­gency num­ber in order to request that “a female be removed from his bed,” accord­ing to a dis­patcher who took the report. When police arrived to see exactly what Dud­dles was talk­ing about, he led them inside and informed them he’d just met the woman and had rela­tions with her – only to have her pass out and “snore like a train.”  The offi­cers informed Dud­dles that they didn’t see it as a police mat­ter and sug­gested he sim­ply ride out the night by sleep­ing on his couch – and “work out the issue in the morning.”

A 19-year-old man and a 17-year-old girl were allegedly robbed by Nico­las Jack­son and another sus­pect while they were sit­ting in a car near the girl’s trailer park. Two masked men jumped into the back­seat of the car told the vic­tims to give them money and jew­elry and threat­ened them with a knife and a shot­gun. The rob­bers then ordered the female vic­tim to leave the vehi­cle had the male vic­tim drive out toward the high­way. After tak­ing his wal­let, cell­phone and $100 in cash, the sus­pects ordered the vic­tim out of the car and told the teen to take off his clothes and count to 30. After the sus­pects took off with the vehi­cle, the vic­tim walked for about an hour to his uncle’s house, mak­ing his way through corn fields in order to hide his junk. Jack­son is being held at the Polk County Jail on a $50,000 bond.

woman snoring A 70ish year old British woman who was tired of tak­ing crap from speed­ing bicy­clists decided to give some back.  Susan Cur­rall was walk­ing near her home in Trump­ing­ton, Eng­land, when cyclist Michael Ram­age whizzed by a lit­tle too closely, so she swung a bag of her pooch’s poop his way.  She insists she didn’t mean to hit him…but it did.  The bag broke open cov­er­ing the biker. A court felt the poop toss was on pur­pose, fin­ing her the equiv­a­lent of about $200 for pun­ish­ment, and to cover Ramage’s dry clean­ing bill. 

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