Assault by snore!

A Wisconsin man called 911 to report that a woman he’d hooked up with in a drunken stupor had come home and assaulted him – with her ridiculously loud snoring.  Benjamin Duddles dialed the emergency number in order to request that “a female be removed from his bed,” according to a dispatcher who took the report. When police arrived to see exactly what Duddles was talking about, he led them inside and informed them he’d just met the woman and had relations with her – only to have her pass out and “snore like a train.”  The officers informed Duddles that they didn’t see it as a police matter and suggested he simply ride out the night by sleeping on his couch – and “work out the issue in the morning.”

A 19-year-old man and a 17-year-old girl were allegedly robbed by Nicolas Jackson and another suspect while they were sitting in a car near the girl’s trailer park. Two masked men jumped into the backseat of the car told the victims to give them money and jewelry and threatened them with a knife and a shotgun. The robbers then ordered the female victim to leave the vehicle had the male victim drive out toward the highway. After taking his wallet, cellphone and $100 in cash, the suspects ordered the victim out of the car and told the teen to take off his clothes and count to 30. After the suspects took off with the vehicle, the victim walked for about an hour to his uncle’s house, making his way through corn fields in order to hide his junk. Jackson is being held at the Polk County Jail on a $50,000 bond.

woman snoring A 70ish year old British woman who was tired of taking crap from speeding bicyclists decided to give some back.  Susan Currall was walking near her home in Trumpington, England, when cyclist Michael Ramage whizzed by a little too closely, so she swung a bag of her pooch’s poop his way.  She insists she didn’t mean to hit him…but it did.  The bag broke open covering the biker. A court felt the poop toss was on purpose, fining her the equivalent of about $200 for punishment, and to cover Ramage’s dry cleaning bill. 

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