Atomic Wedgie Madness!

War­ren­ton, OR police said a woman had stolen $13 from Sub­ways tip jar and attempted to use the case to pur­chase her $12.75 meal. The woman was gone by the time police arrived but they soon heard reports of a woman match­ing the suspect’s descrip­tion steal­ing from a Fred Meyer store and caus­ing a dis­tur­bance at a Rite Aid store. Police said the woman then allegedly fled a Home Depot store in a motor­ized shop­ping cart loaded with mer­chan­dise. Police caught up to Lau­rie Chester, 59, while she was rid­ing the low-speed vehi­cle on U.S. High­way 101. Chester was arrested on two counts of third-degree theft, first-degree theft and dis­or­derly conduct.

atomic wedgieBrad Davis of McLoud, Okla., was sit­ting and hav­ing a drink with his step­fa­ther.  Appar­ently the step father, Den­ver St. Clair was say­ing some pretty nasty stuff about Davis’s mom…so he gave St. Clair an “atomic wedgie” that killed him. St. Clair’s offi­cial cause of death was ruled a homi­cide by blunt force trauma to the head and asphyx­i­a­tion by his own under­wear.  Death by beaver­slides

Omaha national guards­man Travis Kitkowski is offer­ing his apolo­gies to two Nebraska police offi­cers after he attacked them while run­ning down the street nude, high on bath salts.  Prior to the inci­dent Kitkowski thought he took some LSD in an effort to get “out of his mind.” Unfor­tu­nately, the LSD turned out to really be bath salts and he took off run­ning out­side in his birth­day suit to chase some­thing he can no longer recall.  He said. “I was foam­ing some type of blue stuff.”  The 20-year-old says “Doing drugs is never ever worth it. That’s some­thing I learned out of that.” At least he didn’t try to eat off their faces!

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