Atomic Wedgie Madness!

Warrenton, OR police said a woman had stolen $13 from Subways tip jar and attempted to use the case to purchase her $12.75 meal. The woman was gone by the time police arrived but they soon heard reports of a woman matching the suspect’s description stealing from a Fred Meyer store and causing a disturbance at a Rite Aid store. Police said the woman then allegedly fled a Home Depot store in a motorized shopping cart loaded with merchandise. Police caught up to Laurie Chester, 59, while she was riding the low-speed vehicle on U.S. Highway 101. Chester was arrested on two counts of third-degree theft, first-degree theft and disorderly conduct.

atomic wedgieBrad Davis of McLoud, Okla., was sitting and having a drink with his stepfather.  Apparently the step father, Denver St. Clair was saying some pretty nasty stuff about Davis’s mom…so he gave St. Clair an “atomic wedgie” that killed him. St. Clair’s official cause of death was ruled a homicide by blunt force trauma to the head and asphyxiation by his own underwear.  Death by beaverslides

Omaha national guardsman Travis Kitkowski is offering his apologies to two Nebraska police officers after he attacked them while running down the street nude, high on bath salts.  Prior to the incident Kitkowski thought he took some LSD in an effort to get “out of his mind.” Unfortunately, the LSD turned out to really be bath salts and he took off running outside in his birthday suit to chase something he can no longer recall.  He said. “I was foaming some type of blue stuff.”  The 20-year-old says “Doing drugs is never ever worth it. That’s something I learned out of that.” At least he didn’t try to eat off their faces!

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