Beaver slide

Michi­gan police are still search­ing for a “mys­tery pooper” who has been using children’s slides at a beaver slidepop­u­lar park as their bath­room for about half a year.  Police have installed a hid­den cam­era because it hap­pens so fre­quently!   The head of the Friends of Prospect Park, coun­cil Mem­ber Pete Mur­dock, called the pur­pose­ful poop­ing “weird and delib­er­ate.”   I won­der if that would make you go faster on the slide?  Weeeeeee

A Geor­gia crook threw his hat in the ring for this year’s Best Dressed Bur­glar con­test (or at the very least, the least dressed) by rob­bing a series of homes while wear­ing noth­ing but a cow­boy hat! Sur­veil­lance cam­eras spot­ted a stark naked Ash­ton Gibbs jig­gling door han­dles to work his way into unlocked homes in the town of John’s Creek. He swiped a vari­ety of items, and even paused to down a beer and a snack while watch­ing some base­ball at one of the houses.  Gross!  That means he was sit­ting on their fur­ni­ture nude!  Gibbs was caught in the flesh by one home­owner when he just walked into their kitchen.  He was taken into cus­tody a short time later.

The folks of South Bend, Indi­ana are scratch­ing their heads after reports of a bizarre break-in of a down­town mas­sage ther­apy busi­ness. It would seem that a 19-year-old Brian McCur­ren a Notre Dame stu­dent made a hole in the side of the busi­ness, squeezed inside, broke lamps, mir­rors, fur­ni­ture, and day spa equip­ment. He then sprayed a fire extin­guisher as he went from room to room until he finally wound up in the kitchen where he pro­ceeded to heat up some Hot Pock­ets and mac­a­roni and cheese before pass­ing out hold­ing a Drum­stick Ice cream cone!  By the time police arrived at 10 AM Sun­day morn­ing, McCur­ren was still drunk. WNDU reports he blew a .106 in a stan­dard breath test.

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