Calamari with a chewy twist


A woman in China who thought her order of cala­mari was a lit­tle too rub­bery dis­cov­ered there was a good calamarirea­son for that feel­ing – after she spit out a bite and found she was chew­ing a con­dom! Mai Liang says, “It was dis­gust­ing!” When she called the restau­rant man­ager over to com­plain, the other woman accused her of plant­ing a rub­ber she’d brought from home, and an argu­ment ensued. When Liang said she planned to go to author­i­ties over the mat­ter, man­ager Yi Ze Teng snatched the device from her and ate the rest of it her­self to get rid of the evi­dence. Liang still plans to con­tact a lawyer.

Robert Souza pulled a stick-up at a BB & T Bank and fled the scene, leav­ing tellers to call 911 with a descrip­tion of “a bearded man wear­ing a long-sleeved dark shirt and dark pants.” Souza hailed a cab to aid his escape, and as soon as he climbed in, he began chang­ing his clothes, then pulled out a razor to get rid of his facial hair to avoid detec­tion. His plan didn’t work very well, since offi­cers got a bead on the taxi and nabbed Souza – who left large patches of beard behind and smelled strongly of after­shave and deceit.

A North Car­olina man is feel­ing pretty dopey after call­ing 911 to report that he’d been robbed at gun­point – only to admit that he was actu­ally just feel­ing ripped off by his drug dealer. Dakota Buchanan phoned cops to say that two men had pulled a shot­gun and stolen nearly $600 from him in the park­ing lot of a Wal­mart. When pressed for details, Buchanan began to unravel, and con­fessed that he’d actu­ally arranged the meet­ing in order to buy pills – but instead of being given the nar­cotics, Buchanan was handed a bot­tle of BB pel­lets. The dis­hon­est deal­ers were taken into cus­tody, as was Buchanan, who admit­ted fir­ing his own gun at them after a high-speed chase.

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