Cheeky Bites

Edgardo Toucet, a Florida man was using a foam-cutting machine at work when the machine back­fired and cut off his junk! Adding insult to injury – he was work­ing for a temp agency – which means he’s not in it for the benefits…which obvi­ously are none. Toucet is now fil­ing a law­suit against the temp agency and the factory.

A Florida woman, whose name was not released, walked into the Pit Stop at 6:40 in the morn­ing and was told she wouldn’t be able to pur­chase the 32-ounce bot­tles of Schlitz Bull Ice that she’d selected until the clock struck seven. She let loose a string of obscen­i­ties and headed for the door with her unpaid brewskis, which led the clerk to call cops with a descrip­tion of the car she sped off in. Offi­cers caught up with her a short while later, and found the beer on the front seat. She was charged with theft and dri­ving with­out a valid license.

cheekbiteCassi Lyn Clay­ton, whose crim­i­nal record includes cita­tions for prop­erty dam­age and assault­ing a cop (this can’t be good star­ing off with her crim­i­nal record), flew off the han­dle after she saw Madi­son Pel­frey toss some garbage onto the sand at the beach near her home. She began scream­ing at the col­lege stu­dent, and the argu­ment esca­lated – lead­ing Clay­ton to chomp down hard on one of Pelfrey’s cheeks! The 20-year-old neat freak was taken to the Mon­roe County Deten­tion Cen­ter, charged with mis­de­meanor battery.

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