Crash Test Gnome

gnaomeRobert Will­marth, a for­mer police­man was col­lared after a man hired to house-sit for a vaca­tion­ing fam­ily reported a bro­ken win­dow and turned some sur­veil­lance tapes over to cops. When they ques­tioned Will­marth, he con­fessed after being shown the tape – say­ing he was ticked off at the cou­ple because they “busted his chops” the day before. What was the 71-year-olds crime?  He tossed a yard gnome through his neighbor’s win­dow.  He’s also a sus­pect in a series of small arson fires set near his home in recent months.

A Florida man got clipped for DUI by cops over the hol­i­day week­end when motorists turned him in for dri­ving errat­i­cally on a rid­ing lawn mower. Mar­ion Bur­den was spot­ted weav­ing along a street in Gainesville by offi­cers who pulled him over and informed him that his choice of vehi­cle was actu­ally ille­gal in the state. Dur­ing ques­tion­ing, a deputy noticed “a strong odor of alco­hol” ema­nat­ing from the 53-year-old and decided to do a breath­a­lyzer test, which reg­is­tered more than three times the legal limit. When asked if he has been drink­ing, Bur­den replied, “Of course,” and said he’d downed a “four-pack of Tall Pauls.”

Cops in Buf­falo charged a local man with dri­ving under the influ­ence after they pulled him over and found that he wasn’t wear­ing a seat belt – or any­thing else, for that mat­ter! The offi­cers ini­tially made their way to the scene after get­ting numer­ous calls about a drunken naked man wan­der­ing around and knock­ing on the doors of ran­dom houses dur­ing rush hour. Terry Wayne Smith got into a fight with his wife over his drink­ing and decided to bolt, despite the fact that he wasn’t dressed for a road trip. Smith could not walk with­out stum­bling and deputies who pulled over his Mus­tang had a hard time under­stand­ing what he was say­ing. They gave him a cov­er­all and trans­ported him to jail, where he was charged with dis­or­derly con­duct, pub­lic nudity and dri­ving with­out a seat belt.

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