Fat Fold Flummux


A South Car­olina cop had a gut feel­ing that he should per­form a full body search on an obese man he’d pulled over at a traf­fic stop – and fat foldswhen he did, he found a huge stash of drugs stuffed into the guy’s belly-button. The deputy spot­ted a large quan­tity of heroin and a pile of cash inside Ran­dall Streeter’s car, so he pulled the 315-pound sus­pect aside for fur­ther ques­tion­ing, which revealed 40 bags of heroin and a quan­tity of both crack cocaine and painkillers hid­den in his navel and rolls of belly fat. Cops deter­mined that Streeter had been run­ning a drug ring out of a nearby motel and charged him with numer­ous traf­fick­ing heroin charges, result­ing in him being held on $1 mil­lion bond.

 

 
Not since Clark Gris­wold loaded Aunt Edna’s body on the roof the fam­ily truck­ster and drove her to Phoenix have we seen any­thing like this. A 62-year-old man drove from Ari­zona to Michi­gan with his dead 31-year-old girl­friend in the pas­sen­ger seat wear­ing sun­glasses and hold­ing a stuffed ani­mal! Police say Ray Tom­lin­son drove from Michi­gan to a men­tal facil­ity in Ari­zona to pick up the woman, with whom he had some sort of rela­tion­ship, and drive her back to Michi­gan. But shortly after pick­ing her up, she appar­ently ingested oxy­codone pills and died. Cops say Tom­lin­son didn’t real­ize she was dead until he got to Okla­homa. Not know­ing what to do, he went on the Inter­net and some­how con­cluded that he had 48 hours to bring the woman’s body to a med­ical exam­iner in Michi­gan, so he fin­ished the drive. Oh, not to be lost in this story is the fact that dur­ing this whole adven­ture, Tomlinson’s 92-year-old mother was sit­ting in the back of the van incred­i­bly uncom­fort­able because her son refused to stop to let her use the bath­room. He has not been charged with a crime and the case is under investigation.

 

 
A zoo employee who put on a gorilla suit to teach co-workers about what would hap­pen if an ani­mal escaped, showed exactly what would hap­pen by get­ting shot with a tran­quil­izer gun. Appar­ently it was a really good cos­tume because a vet at the zoo in the Canary Islands thought he was a real gorilla and shot him with a tran­quil­izer dart! Packed into the dart was a seda­tive pow­er­ful enough to take down a 400-pound gorilla. The guy was trans­ported to a hos­pi­tal and is in sta­ble condition.

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