Fat woman squishes crocodile while riding circus bus

A Russ­ian rep­tile was hurt and vom­ited for sev­eral hours after it was crushed by an over­weight accoun­tant crocodiledur­ing an acci­dent on a cir­cus bus. WHAT??? When the bus hit a pot­hole, the 264-pound female accoun­tant went fly­ing and landed on top of the 6.5-foot croc­o­dile. A med­ical exam­i­na­tion of the ani­mal revealed that he had not suf­fered inter­nal injuries, but he was held out of his next per­for­mance,
but will be able to return to per­form­ing by the week­end. The accoun­tant also suf­fered cuts and bruises. An offi­cial rep­ri­mand was issued to the accoun­tant, and she was “advised to lose weight” and “observe safety pre­cau­tions” by wear­ing her seat­belt in the future.

Stu­dents and admin­is­tra­tors at San­ti­ago High School in Corona, Cal­i­for­nia got a big sur­prise with their school year­book. It con­tains a photo of a soc­cer player leap­ing in the air, appar­ently acci­den­tally expos­ing him­self. Once word about the offend­ing photo got out, school offi­cials scram­bled to col­lect the year­books and black-out the photo. The school is so seri­ous about rec­ti­fy­ing the prob­lem that seniors were told their Grad Night party would be can­celed if the year­books weren’t returned.

Shielah Jones had dragged her eight-year-old to the Swamp House Bar and Grill, where she was knock­ing back a few cold ones while, appar­ently, teach­ing the girl a les­son in the effects of alco­hol on the liver. When an employee made a call com­plain­ing about an intox­i­cated per­son, Jones fled with her pupil. An offi­cer who stopped her for speed­ing smelled alco­hol and tested the woman, who reg­is­tered twice the legal limit for dri­ving. Deputies didn’t buy the home-schooling tale and arrested her, turn­ing the girl over to a neigh­bor for safe keeping.

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