Fat woman squishes crocodile while riding circus bus

A Russian reptile was hurt and vomited for several hours after it was crushed by an overweight accountant crocodileduring an accident on a circus bus. WHAT??? When the bus hit a pothole, the 264-pound female accountant went flying and landed on top of the 6.5-foot crocodile. A medical examination of the animal revealed that he had not suffered internal injuries, but he was held out of his next performance,
but will be able to return to performing by the weekend. The accountant also suffered cuts and bruises. An official reprimand was issued to the accountant, and she was “advised to lose weight” and “observe safety precautions” by wearing her seatbelt in the future.

Students and administrators at Santiago High School in Corona, California got a big surprise with their school yearbook. It contains a photo of a soccer player leaping in the air, apparently accidentally exposing himself. Once word about the offending photo got out, school officials scrambled to collect the yearbooks and black-out the photo. The school is so serious about rectifying the problem that seniors were told their Grad Night party would be canceled if the yearbooks weren’t returned.

Shielah Jones had dragged her eight-year-old to the Swamp House Bar and Grill, where she was knocking back a few cold ones while, apparently, teaching the girl a lesson in the effects of alcohol on the liver. When an employee made a call complaining about an intoxicated person, Jones fled with her pupil. An officer who stopped her for speeding smelled alcohol and tested the woman, who registered twice the legal limit for driving. Deputies didn’t buy the home-schooling tale and arrested her, turning the girl over to a neighbor for safe keeping.

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