Fish Face

fish slapInves­ti­ga­tors say a Swedish man called author­i­ties to report he was awak­ened from a nap by a slap across the face from a woman wield­ing a mack­erel.  Seri­ously, she slapped him across the face with a dead fish!  The man also alleged the woman stole $310 from him and took food from his refrig­er­a­tor. Police said, “They might live together some­times.” The inci­dent is being inves­ti­gated as an assault, police said.

Cus­toms offi­cials at a Russ­ian air­port busted a woman for hav­ing thou­sands of dol­lars worth of jew­elry hid­den inside a baked chicken!  Because an entire baked chicken isn’t sus­pi­cious at all! Cus­toms agents at Moscow’s Inter­na­tional Air­port searched the suit­cases of a woman who had flown in from New York and found jew­elry hid­den in a num­ber of food items includ­ing baked chicken, egg­plant rolls and jars of jam, cof­fee and cream. The woman said she had hid­den the roughly $30,000 worth of jew­elry so she wouldn’t have to declare the items.

Here’s why you should never drive tired. An Atlanta, GA man caused a traf­fic jam after he fell asleep at the wheel, his truck stopped in the mid­dle of the road. A local news truck hap­pened to be pass­ing by, and called 911 (while turn­ing on its cam­eras, nat­u­rally). A gov­ern­ment worker came to wake the man up, but when he did, the dri­ver sped off, smash­ing into two cars and sub­se­quently caus­ing a five-car acci­dent!  The worker again tried to stop the man, but he fled his car, climb­ing a tree and jump­ing a barbed-wire fence to get away. Police are still search­ing for him.  Prob­a­bly thought he was in a bad dream!

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