Freak News for Friday 11/11/11


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TP for your Bung­hole? - Back in the old days, folks tried to get revenge by wrap­ping an enemy’s house or car in toi­let paper — which prob­a­bly sounds pretty good to a Florida cop who left his home to find his cruiser com­pletely cov­ered in human waste.  A rep­re­sen­ta­tive for the Florida High­way Patrol says that trooper Joe Sanchez’s vehi­cle looked as if it had the entire con­tents of a Port-a-Potty dumped on it. One inves­ti­ga­tor sug­gested the scene might have stemmed from an ear­lier inci­dent in which a High­way Patrol­woman pulled over aMi­amipo­lice­man for dri­ving 120 miles per hour while intoxicated.

Leave your cre­den­tials at home -  Secu­rity cam­era video allegedly showed Emí­dio Alves, 24, enter­ing the GSM Phones Shop car­ry­ing a folder hold­ing work­ing papers doc­u­ment­ing employ­ment. Alves feigned a gun under his shirt, put the folder on a dis­play counter and announced a rob­bery, demand­ing the only clerk on staff open the show­case of mobile devices.  When Vic­tor refused Alves smashed the dis­play glass, grabbed four phones and ran out of the store leav­ing his folder.  Alves ran back into the store but the clerk locked the door, seal­ing in the alleged rob­ber who was even­tu­ally met by arrest­ing police.

Foul body lan­guage - A col­lege bas­ket­ball player racked up some seri­ous per­sonal fouls when he got loaded, took off all his clothes and went on a van­dal­ism spree before attempt­ing to steal a police car. Leonard Tyrell Young started his ram­page in a con­ve­nience store park­ing lot, where he was spot­ted, stark naked, pound­ing on cars at ran­dom. When a cop arrived with his K-9 unit part­ner, Young pulled him from his cruiser and started to drive off. The offi­cer says he tasered the 21-year-old three times to no effect — but a bite from the Ger­man Shep­herd slowed him down. He was dis­missed by the Fresno Pacific ath­letic direc­tor, who said, “At this point, Lenny is no longer a mem­ber of the team.”

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