TP for your Bunghole? – Back in the old days, folks tried to get revenge by wrapping an enemy’s house or car in toilet paper — which probably sounds pretty good to a Florida cop who left his home to find his cruiser completely covered in human waste. A representative for the Florida Highway Patrol says that trooper Joe Sanchez’s vehicle looked as if it had the entire contents of a Port-a-Potty dumped on it. One investigator suggested the scene might have stemmed from an earlier incident in which a Highway Patrolwoman pulled over aMiamipoliceman for driving 120 miles per hour while intoxicated.
Leave your credentials at home – Security camera video allegedly showed Emídio Alves, 24, entering the GSM Phones Shop carrying a folder holding working papers documenting employment. Alves feigned a gun under his shirt, put the folder on a display counter and announced a robbery, demanding the only clerk on staff open the showcase of mobile devices. When Victor refused Alves smashed the display glass, grabbed four phones and ran out of the store leaving his folder. Alves ran back into the store but the clerk locked the door, sealing in the alleged robber who was eventually met by arresting police.
Foul body language – A college basketball player racked up some serious personal fouls when he got loaded, took off all his clothes and went on a vandalism spree before attempting to steal a police car. Leonard Tyrell Young started his rampage in a convenience store parking lot, where he was spotted, stark naked, pounding on cars at random. When a cop arrived with his K-9 unit partner, Young pulled him from his cruiser and started to drive off. The officer says he tasered the 21-year-old three times to no effect — but a bite from the German Shepherd slowed him down. He was dismissed by the Fresno Pacific athletic director, who said, “At this point, Lenny is no longer a member of the team.”