A motionless crime - A Wisconsin man was slapped with a $300 fine for disturbing the peace and being months behind the times — by planking on top of a police car in full view of the officers. Alexander Hart was spotted lying motionless on the roof of a squad car, as well as on top of merchandise displays at local stores, which led to the misdemeanor charges. He was actually only due for a $200 fine, but the judge tacked on an extra C-note for being disruptive to the peace and good order of the community at large.
Meant to be here - A New Zealand man nearly engineered his own demise by looking for a comfy place to sleep off a bender — and settling on a set of railroad tracks. Officials discovered the man after a train conductor called police to inform them that he thought he’d run over a person on an overnight trip. When cops went out to investigate, they found the man, flat on his caboose and still drunk — but virtually unscathed after being run over. Police roused the guy and found he had some cuts on his head, but was otherwise none the worse for wear. He was not charged with any crime.
Grab a snack before the show! - A British man was feeling anything but tidings of comfort and joy when he went to his kids’ school Christmas play. Not because his kid is a sucky actor but the dad another man got into a scuffle as they waited for the three wise men to hit the stage at the elementary school event. One witness said that the more aggressive man bit down hard on his opponent’s finger and “spat blood out like an animal” — which, as far as we can recall, isn’t usually considered part of the Christmas story. The children were going through last-minute rehearsals backstage, so they missed all the action. What I want to know is why the hell his finger was in the guy’s mouth in the first place??