Freak News for Friday 12/9

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (ver­sion 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Down­load the lat­est ver­sion here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

A motion­less crime - A Wis­con­sin man was slapped with a $300 fine for dis­turb­ing the peace and being months behind the times — by plank­ing on top of a police car in full view of the offi­cers.  Alexan­der Hart was spot­ted lying motion­less on the roof of a squad car, as well as on top of mer­chan­dise dis­plays at local stores, which led to the mis­de­meanor charges. He was actu­ally only due for a $200 fine, but the judge tacked on an extra C-note for being dis­rup­tive to the peace and good order of the com­mu­nity at large.

Meant to be here - A New Zealand man nearly engi­neered his own demise by look­ing for a comfy place to sleep off a ben­der — and set­tling on a set of rail­road tracks. Offi­cials dis­cov­ered the man after a train con­duc­tor called police to inform them that he thought he’d run over a per­son on an overnight trip. When cops went out to inves­ti­gate, they found the man, flat on his caboose and still drunk — but vir­tu­ally unscathed after being run over. Police roused the guy and found he had some cuts on his head, but was oth­er­wise none the worse for wear. He was not charged with any crime.

Grab a snack before the show! -  A British man was feel­ing any­thing but tid­ings of com­fort and joy when he went to his kids’ school Christ­mas play.  Not because his kid is a sucky actor but the dad another man got into a scuf­fle as they waited for the three wise men to hit the stage at the ele­men­tary school event. One wit­ness said that the more aggres­sive man bit down hard on his opponent’s fin­ger and “spat blood out like an ani­mal” — which, as far as we can recall, isn’t usu­ally con­sid­ered part of the Christ­mas story. The chil­dren were going through last-minute rehearsals back­stage, so they missed all the action.  What I want to know is why the hell his fin­ger was in the guy’s mouth in the first place??

Unknown source