Quarter for your thoughts – A Florida woman Erica Phillips and a male friend broke into a Gainesville bagel shop and stole a cash register, presuming they’d come away with a big haul. Phillips admitted to driving John Harrington to the store, where he broke a display window and helped her haul off a register valued at 800 bucks; instead, they found a single quarter inside.
The broom is mightier than the sword – Dale Foughty crept into a convenience store in a Spiderman get-up wielding a samurai sword and demanded a wad of cash, but the employee was having none of it — and poked him in the belly with a broom, leading to a multi-person struggle. In the ruckus Foughty lost his mask and had a chunk of his ponytail pulled out. He was found hiding in a nearby home and arrested on charges of attempted robbery. I’m pretty sure it was the sword and the pony tail that made the employee second guess he wasn’t Spiderman.
King Midas FAIL! – Human feces, mixed with fertilizer and other ingredients and left on top of an electric heater, will not turn to gold, an amateur alchemist in Belfast, Ireland discovered. But it will set your apartment on fire and endanger the lives of others around you! The judge said to the 30-year-old Paul Moran “Rather bizarrely, you were attempting to make gold from human feces and waste products,” and then sentenced him to jail for 3 months for attempted arson. Moran’s lawyer described his client as a man of “considerable intellectual ability,” but with drug problems.