Mr. Creepy

Mr. Creepy if you’re nasty - A Fort Myers mom called 911 after her young daugh­ter, 9, told her that she saw a man ’being really nasty in the bushes’ near a school bus stop.  He dis­ap­peared before deputies could nab him. But the man did a repeat per­for­mance on another morn­ing. This time a neigh­bor got to the man and held him in a head­lock until deputies arrived.

Flo­rence Fran­cis­cans Revenge - A rare and expen­sive Bible van­ished from the lectern this week, and a replace­ment donated by a wor­ship­per dis­ap­peared a few hours later. A notice put up by Fran­cis­can fri­ars at an ancient church in Flo­rence says they hope the thief sees the error of his ways but if not, “we pray to God that the thief is struck by a strong bout of the squirts,” the Guardian reports. “It is not exactly clean lan­guage,” one friar admit­ted, “but we couldn’t put up with it any longer. The Lord and the faith­ful will understand.”

Meat my Basil - Police in Florida say they arrested a woman accused of throw­ing a pot­ted basil plant at her hus­band dur­ing an argu­ment about his cook­ing. Port St. Lucie police said Andrea Antoine-Pierre, 52, arrived home Mon­day while her 60-year-old hus­band was prepar­ing food in the kitchen.  They then began to argue about what type of meat was sup­posed to be cooked,” the police report states. The hus­band told police he was walk­ing away from Antoine-Pierre when she threw a large basil plant, which struck his left shoul­der. He said she tried to throw rocks at him out­side but did not make con­tact. Antoine-Pierre told police she threw the plant on the ground and the dirt “must have bounced” to get on her husband’s shoul­der.  Antoine-Pierre was arrested on a domes­tic bat­tery charge and a report did not spec­ify the type of meat that was being cooked.

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