Freak News for Wednesday 10/19

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Knee Jerk reac­tion — An Ari­zona man is ask­ing for a real tongue-lashing after cops picked him up on charges of approach­ing a woman who’d fallen on the street.  Mar­tin­Solo didn’t have plans to hurt the woman but didn’t really help the sit­u­a­tion either.  He was busted after the uniden­ti­fied woman tripped over a stair, only to have him leap on her and start lick­ing her knee! He allegedly tried to move up and give her face the same treat­ment, but she man­aged to fight him off.  A police source said the woman was press­ing charges, but it was not imme­di­ately clear what those might be.

Not the knight in shin­ing armour she’d hoped for — A father in Wash­ing­ton state showed his com­mit­ment to really old-fashioned dis­ci­pline — when he pun­ished his teen daugh­ter by forc­ing her to don a suit of armor, then smacked her with a wooden sword.  Freemon Edward Seay, described as a renais­sance enthu­si­ast, did play fair, giv­ing the girl a sword of her own, but he has still been charged with assault with a deadly weapon. He told cops he had a right to dis­ci­pline the teen because she’d gone to a crack house the night before — which she denied.  The girl suf­fered some seri­ous bruises, and the 300-pound Seay has been ordered not to have any con­tact with her until his trial.

What a piz-za work! -A Ken­tucky man was arrested on drunk dri­ving charges after he drove his car into a ditch, then informed cops that he’d only had “two piz­zas to drink” before the acci­dent.  Donn Adams gave the cheesy reply after deputies asked him about his appar­ently dis­ori­ented behav­ior. WhileAdams denied being under the influ­ence of any sub­stance, police search­ing his car found two syringes and a vial con­tain­ing what appeared to be heroin.

Unknown source