Freak News for Wednesday, 9/7


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THE PUFFS ARE MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD - Cops in Illi­nois arrested a man who was block­ing high­way traf­fic while car­ry­ing a sword — and shout­ing that he was “cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.” The still-unidentified man was report­edly “march­ing like a drum major” down High­way 30 when cops approached him. He swung his weapon once, but dropped it when ordered to — although he did try to escape by jump­ing into a car that had swerved off the road to avoid the whole bizarre scene. The sus­pect has been charged with attempted car­jack­ing, resist­ing law enforce­ment and pos­ses­sion of marijuana.

SHIRT HAPPENS - When Justin Caine was pulled over for a minor traf­fic vio­la­tion in Florida, the deputy who stopped him noticed a mar­i­juana leaf on his shirt — and not a pic­ture of the wacky weed, an actual piece of skunky green­ery. Upon closer inspec­tion, Caine was found to have a large bag of pot in his pocket. In fact, a large enough bag to prompt felony charges.

JENNY CRAIG MADE ME DO IT! - A Florida woman who was arrested for drop­ping her pants and reliev­ing her­self at a pic­nic area blamed the inci­dent on a flat belly, rather than a full blad­der. The woman, who was unsteady on her feet when cops arrived at the scene, says that her pants fell down on their own because she’d recently lost weight — and she was hav­ing a bit of trou­ble keep­ing them attached to her hips. A man who was at the park with his chil­dren begged to dif­fer, say­ing he saw the woman pull her pants down on her own. He also noted that there were bath­rooms nearby.

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