Friday 11/30

Nevada man Tod Jerome John­son called police to report that mul­ti­ple peo­ple needed help for gun­shot wounds, so, when they arrived, they found John­son danc­ing amid the flames wear­ing only his tighty-whities and socks – despite the fact that the tem­per­a­ture was below freez­ing. First respon­ders needed to sedate the 47-year-old to get him to a local hos­pi­tal, where he was charged with arson and bat­tery – for kick­ing a para­medic and spit­ting in the face of a nurse.

Crit­ics of breast implants like to cite pos­si­ble side effects, but now advo­cates can men­tion their life-saving poten­tial: Cana­dian Eileen Lik­ness tes­ti­fied at the trial of an ex-boyfriend accused of shoot­ing her say­ing her implants saved her life! The bul­let trav­eled through one and out the other before hit­ting her fore­arm. Now she’s all healed—with new implants.  Cause you never know when you’ll need bul­let proof boobs.

On the first day of Christ­mas, a Louisiana woman gave her neigh­bors one fin­ger flip­ping – in the form of a light dis­play designed to look like an extended mid­dle fin­ger pointed in their direc­tion. Offi­cials in the town of Den­ham Springs thought Sarah Hen­der­son was being naughty, not nice, and ordered her to remove the dis­play, which they said did not show the proper hol­i­day spirit. Hen­der­son says that she’s had a long-running dis­pute with her neigh­bors and claims the illu­mi­nated fin­ger is “the only means I have to express myself to these peo­ple … I’ve always been a lit­tle bit dif­fer­ent.” And obvi­ously alit­tle angry.

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