Friday 1/20

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Titanic 2 — If you thought details of the Costa Con­cor­dia dis­as­ter couldn’t get much stranger than the cap­tain say­ing he didn’t lead the evac­u­a­tion because he tripped into a lifeboat, well, get a load of this: Two of the ship’s pas­sen­gers told a Swiss paper that the theme song from Titanic was play­ing in one of the din­ing rooms just as the ship started to list. So, as peo­ple no doubt started to panic, Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On wafted through the restau­rant. The New Zealand Her­ald also reports a sec­ond Titanic con­nec­tion: One of the women to sur­vive had rel­a­tives aboard in the 1912 sink­ing. At least 11 peo­ple were killed and 22 oth­ers remain missing.

Pos­te­rior for pos­ter­ity –A woman in New Zealand thinks there are no ifs, ands or butts about her get rich quick scheme — which involves sell­ing a piece of her own butt to the high­est bid­der. Tina Beznec is orga­niz­ing an auc­tion that will allow per­fect strangers to choose a design, which she’ll have tat­tooed some­where on her rump shaker. Nearly 200,000 peo­ple have taken a look at her web­site, and while some have merely left cracks, bid­ders have taken the price up to nearly $10,000.

 It’s that time of the month - A Penn­syl­va­nia cou­ple will have to absorb some seri­ous pun­ish­ment after they were busted try­ing to blow up an auto­mo­bile — with a batch of flam­ing tam­pons.  Patri­cia and Quentin Deshong were taken into cus­tody when a wit­ness spot­ted them tam­per­ing with a Ford Focus in a cock­tail lounge park­ing lot. They’d busted the vehicle’s wind­shield and yanked out some hoses before try­ing to insert the fem­i­nine hygiene prod­ucts into the gas tank. Both are being charged with attempted arson, felony crim­i­nal mis­chief and pub­lic drunk­en­ness. Ms. Deshong has an addi­tional count of ter­ror­ist threats, since she vowed to kill a state trooper once released.

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