Friday 12/7

Miguel Restrepo, 62, told a Colom­bian radio sta­tion that he and his wife, Maria Gar­cia, have been liv­ing com­fort­ably in a sewer for the past 22 years.  Restrepo said they are liv­ing “bet­ter than the pres­i­dent” in the “calm” and “care­free” set­ting. He said the sewer is out­fit­ted with a kitchen, TV, bed, chair and thank god a fan.

Patrons at a Florida Wal-Mart would have much rather got­ten lumps of coal than the hol­i­day gifts bestowed by a fel­low shop­per – who drove around the park­ing lot throw­ing her own feces at their cars. Deb­o­rah Brinkman came to the store armed – with a pile of paper tow­els filled with human excre­ment. She pro­ceeded to tool around the perime­ter of the lot toss­ing them at other vehi­cles until cops arrived. At that point, she gunned the engine and tried to run over one deputy before being boxed in at a nearby restau­rant. Brinkman, who appeared vis­i­bly intox­i­cated, was busted one week ear­lier after she fled from a traf­fic stop, smil­ing and wav­ing at officers.

A Brazil­ian jail­bird had a gutsy escape attempt foiled. The man, whose name was not released, was one of a pair of con­victs who tried to smash their way out of the prison in the town of Ceres – and while his part­ner in crime made it out, he became stuck due to his overly large belly. Other pris­on­ers tried to help push him to free­dom, but only suc­ceeded in get­ting him wedged in even tighter.  Fire­men even­tu­ally were sum­moned to cut him free – but not set him free. He returned to his cell, bruised and embarrassed.

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