Friday 12/7

Miguel Restrepo, 62, told a Colombian radio station that he and his wife, Maria Garcia, have been living comfortably in a sewer for the past 22 years.  Restrepo said they are living “better than the president” in the “calm” and “carefree” setting. He said the sewer is outfitted with a kitchen, TV, bed, chair and thank god a fan.

Patrons at a Florida Wal-Mart would have much rather gotten lumps of coal than the holiday gifts bestowed by a fellow shopper – who drove around the parking lot throwing her own feces at their cars. Deborah Brinkman came to the store armed – with a pile of paper towels filled with human excrement. She proceeded to tool around the perimeter of the lot tossing them at other vehicles until cops arrived. At that point, she gunned the engine and tried to run over one deputy before being boxed in at a nearby restaurant. Brinkman, who appeared visibly intoxicated, was busted one week earlier after she fled from a traffic stop, smiling and waving at officers.

A Brazilian jailbird had a gutsy escape attempt foiled. The man, whose name was not released, was one of a pair of convicts who tried to smash their way out of the prison in the town of Ceres – and while his partner in crime made it out, he became stuck due to his overly large belly. Other prisoners tried to help push him to freedom, but only succeeded in getting him wedged in even tighter.  Firemen eventually were summoned to cut him free – but not set him free. He returned to his cell, bruised and embarrassed.

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