Friday 1/4

A neigh­bor whose name was not released, heard the sound of break­ing glass from the house next door and then saw a stranger climb­ing through the win­dow. When the bur­glar Tim­o­thy Woods saw that he had been spot­ted, he tried to duck inside the house, which gave the neigh­bor a chance to dart out­side and swipe the keys from the igni­tion of Woods’ car, which had been left run­ning. When cops arrived, Woods insisted he’d never been inside the house in the first place, but that he’d gone there to visit the home’s owner, who said he had no idea who the bur­glar was.

Deb­bie Zama­cona told the Bar­row County Sheriff’s Depart­ment that a ghost came into her home and stole her resume and some other paper­work – as well as one black and blue print blouse – before tak­ing off for wher­ever it is ghosts go with stolen prop­erty. Zama­cona said that the ghost of her mom often drops by to visit, but that she didn’t sus­pect her in the theft – pin­ning it instead on “black spir­its” that also hang around the place. She placed the value of the stolen resume at about $5000

Dopey Florida man Shaune Lawrence phoned the police to report that he was being tar­geted by two armed men who were in the midst of a home inva­sion, but when the deputies arrived on the scene, there were no intrud­ers in sight – only a ver­i­ta­ble jun­gle of weed. Appar­ently, Lawrance was quite the mar­i­juana grower and had over 100 plants that he kept in plain sight.  Lawrence was taken into cus­tody after the offi­cers dis­man­tled the grow­ing oper­a­tion, which they said was val­ued at almost $50,000.

*this pic­ture is not asso­ci­ated with Shaune Lawrence

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