Friday 4/13

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A lit­tle jumpy - Texas Inves­ti­ga­tors said two men with their faces cov­ered walked into the Valero Cor­ner Store inSan Anto­nioand demanded cash from the clerk. How­ever, the men fled empty handed when one of their guns acci­den­tally went off. Police said there were no injuries and offi­cers are search­ing for suspects.

You have the right to remain idi­otic — Indi­ana man Chad Voegelo rigged his cell phone with flash­ing lights in order to imper­son­ate a cop and he pulled up next to a car laugh­ing — until he saw the per­son he attempted to stop flash aFort Wayne police badge. He sped off, and went to the most log­i­cal place — a bar — where he bought a drink and was arrested moments later.

Now THAT’s a Magic John­son!  - A Philadelphia-area drug dealer, Ray Woods was ini­tially pulled over for a traf­fic vio­la­tion, but when offi­cers approached him to ask ques­tions, they noticed an extremely large bulge in his pants. Rather than assume he was just glad to see them, they chose to bring him to the police sta­tion, where Woods ended up wet­ting him­self.  Cops just hap­pened to notice that he had 80 bags of dope tied around the end of his unit!!  A police spokesman said, “In 14 years, I’ve seen it down their pants, in their rears but I’ve never seen it tied to their [unit].”

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