Friday 5/4

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A Wisconsin man fell off the wagon, and straight onto the railroad tracks!  Thomas Boersma had apparently passed out on a set of tracks where he was spotted by the conductor of a freight train, who couldn’t stop in time to avoid him. The conductor did manage to stop, but couldn’t find Boersma, who ran off.  Boersma, who was described as agitated and combative when found nearby, said he didn’t remember any train, and refused medical treatment despite injuries to his arm and buttocks.

A woman who went to use a Seattle Central Community College restroom says a man beat her to it — by falling in through the ceiling!  Joy Estill said, “My initial reaction was ‘Do you need help?’ — I thought he was a worker, but then I realized he was not dressed like a worker doing labor; he was dressed like a regular person coming off the street.” Estill and other students held the man until security arrived and handcuffed him. He allegedly had a disposable camera in his hand, which led Estill to believe he was taking pictures, but police said he was hiding from officers after earlier trying to break into a locked bathroom in a fast food restaurant using a pocketknife. Police said he fled from officers at the college and climbed into the bathroom ceiling to hide, the report said.

Pierre Pete was busted at the home of his sister, who assured cops she had no idea where he was — an account disputed by her toddlers, who pointed them in the direction of Pete and his accomplice. The deputies found a wide array of illegal items, including a stash of weed and some unlicensed handguns. As Pete was answering questions, a used shell from a .38 fell out of his rear in front of cops. Uh, you dropped something…

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