Friday 5/4

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A Wis­con­sin man fell off the wagon, and straight onto the rail­road tracks!  Thomas Boersma had appar­ently passed out on a set of tracks where he was spot­ted by the con­duc­tor of a freight train, who couldn’t stop in time to avoid him. The con­duc­tor did man­age to stop, but couldn’t find Boersma, who ran off.  Boersma, who was described as agi­tated and com­bat­ive when found nearby, said he didn’t remem­ber any train, and refused med­ical treat­ment despite injuries to his arm and buttocks.

A woman who went to use a Seat­tle Cen­tral Com­mu­nity Col­lege restroom says a man beat her to it — by falling in through the ceil­ing!  Joy Estill said, “My ini­tial reac­tion was ‘Do you need help?’ — I thought he was a worker, but then I real­ized he was not dressed like a worker doing labor; he was dressed like a reg­u­lar per­son com­ing off the street.” Estill and other stu­dents held the man until secu­rity arrived and hand­cuffed him. He allegedly had a dis­pos­able cam­era in his hand, which led Estill to believe he was tak­ing pic­tures, but police said he was hid­ing from offi­cers after ear­lier try­ing to break into a locked bath­room in a fast food restau­rant using a pock­etknife. Police said he fled from offi­cers at the col­lege and climbed into the bath­room ceil­ing to hide, the report said.

Pierre Pete was busted at the home of his sis­ter, who assured cops she had no idea where he was — an account dis­puted by her tod­dlers, who pointed them in the direc­tion of Pete and his accom­plice. The deputies found a wide array of ille­gal items, includ­ing a stash of weed and some unli­censed hand­guns. As Pete was answer­ing ques­tions, a used shell from a .38 fell out of his rear in front of cops. Uh, you dropped something…

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