Get me a 6 pack, some cigs and Jesus's love

Enjoli Norde walked into the 7-Eleven and asked the clerk if he loved Jesus and then pulled out a 6 packhand­gun and demand­ing all the cash from the reg­is­ter!  Norde took the $150 haul and ran off but returned a few min­utes later, gun still in hand, to swipe some smokes and get some booze rec­om­men­da­tions.  Norde asked the cow­er­ing clerk what beer he’d rec­om­mend, then went over to the cooler and helped her­self to an arm­ful – leav­ing a cou­ple of bot­tles behind for the worker. She also tossed 15 bucks on the counter, say­ing, “Some­thing for you.”   She was tracked down at the home of her mother, where an offi­cer reported she also asked him if he loved the Lord – “in between scream­ing fits of rage.”

While back­ing out of a park­ing spot at a CVS drug­store, the elderly dri­ver hit another parked car. While her hus­band got out to check the dam­age caused to the other vehi­cle, she inex­plic­a­bly stepped on the gas and drove right into the store. She nar­rowly missed hit­ting another elderly shop­per inside the store before finally com­ing to a stop. Luck­ily no one was seri­ously injured. The shop­per who was nearly hit by the car suf­fered minor cuts and bruises. The dri­ver was cited for improper back­ing and care­less driving.

The corpse of an elderly Florida woman was placed in a dump­ster after an apart­ment build­ing desk clerk mis­took it for a man­nequin that was part of an April Fools’ Day prank. Ronald Ben­jamin, first saw the 96-year-old woman’s body while he was tak­ing a smoke break and returned to work think­ing it was a joke. A main­te­nance worker even­tu­ally came across the body and real­ized it was real.  No crim­i­nal charges will be filed.  .When police searched the woman’s apart­ment, they found a sui­cide note. Accord­ing to police, Ben­jamin was fired as a result of the incident.

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