Get me a 6 pack, some cigs and Jesus's love

Enjoli Norde walked into the 7-Eleven and asked the clerk if he loved Jesus and then pulled out a 6 packhandgun and demanding all the cash from the register!  Norde took the $150 haul and ran off but returned a few minutes later, gun still in hand, to swipe some smokes and get some booze recommendations.  Norde asked the cowering clerk what beer he’d recommend, then went over to the cooler and helped herself to an armful – leaving a couple of bottles behind for the worker. She also tossed 15 bucks on the counter, saying, “Something for you.”   She was tracked down at the home of her mother, where an officer reported she also asked him if he loved the Lord – “in between screaming fits of rage.”

While backing out of a parking spot at a CVS drugstore, the elderly driver hit another parked car. While her husband got out to check the damage caused to the other vehicle, she inexplicably stepped on the gas and drove right into the store. She narrowly missed hitting another elderly shopper inside the store before finally coming to a stop. Luckily no one was seriously injured. The shopper who was nearly hit by the car suffered minor cuts and bruises. The driver was cited for improper backing and careless driving.

The corpse of an elderly Florida woman was placed in a dumpster after an apartment building desk clerk mistook it for a mannequin that was part of an April Fools’ Day prank. Ronald Benjamin, first saw the 96-year-old woman’s body while he was taking a smoke break and returned to work thinking it was a joke. A maintenance worker eventually came across the body and realized it was real.  No criminal charges will be filed.  .When police searched the woman’s apartment, they found a suicide note. According to police, Benjamin was fired as a result of the incident.

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