Glazed and confused

Tim Black­burn, 50, of Stockton-on-Tees, Eng­land, said he busted his right arm when he fell off a lad­der in 2007 and doc­tors had to remove 4 inches of bone and attach a metal scaf­fold around the arm. The arm was finally healed this month using a new ultra­sound tech­nique, but as Murphy’s law would have it, he tripped over his dog and fell down a flight of stairs and broke it again.   Black­burn said. “If I didn’t laugh about all of it, I’d cry.”

A stu­dent bring­ing an apple for a teacher is a good thing – but a teacher rub­bing a stu­dent with his banana? Not so much. Jonathan Hamp­ton, a for­mer Florida teacher of the year, was sus­pended for three days for the inci­dent, which occurred, nat­u­rally enough, dur­ing a class on Freudian psy­chol­ogy for high school seniors. While the girl and her par­ents said the act of rub­bing the banana over the girl’s head was bla­tantly sex­ual, Hampton’s lawyer says he only tapped the stu­dent to get her atten­tion. A good banana tap­ping, that’s what you need!

donutShab­bis Bhatti, 42, a clerk at the 7-Eleven store in the Bed­ford neigh­bor­hood, said he called police when he noticed a man fill­ing his pants pock­ets with dough­nuts. They came within 1 minute. They were fast, three police­men and a sergeant,” Bhatti said. Ha, of course they did!  Police said Dex­ter Jack­son, 34, was arrested and charged with crim­i­nal pos­ses­sion of stolen prop­erty and petty lar­ceny.  Dough­nuts in your POCKETS???  That’s like stuff­ing a marsh­mal­low into a piggy bank.

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