Goat is as surprised as we are

goat says noA Brazilian man is going to marry his pet goat. The 74-year-old man, who has been married four times (to 2-legged females), will wed his beloved goat “Carmelita” on October 13th. He says he has been in love with Carmelita for two years and says a goat has advantages over a human wife. “When someone says it’s wrong, I reply the goat does not speak, ask for money to go shopping and doesn’t get pregnant,” says the father of eight. The ceremony will be conducted by a bishop calling himself Tom Devil, who said the pair will not be consummating the marriage.  “He just needs a companion.”

37-year-old Daniel Clavin says he woke up with the hiccups the morning after going out drinking with his pals. The hiccups come about seven seconds apart, and sometimes they’ve been so violent he’s passed out. And poor Daniel has spent many nights in the guest room so his wife can get some rest. Daniel is waiting to get an MRI so doctors can determine if he has a serious medical condition.

If you’re going to fake your own abduction, you might want let one of your friends know before the police come calling. Two British women were arrested in Portugal earlier this week when their 40th-birthday stunt set off a panic. They were on vacation with a number of friends when a van pulled up, and two masked men jumped out, pulled them in and sped away. Witnesses flooded police lines with calls about the kidnapping, and a manhunt ensued. But it turned out the women had hired a local events organizer to pull off the prank as a way to spice up their holiday. They were arrested, along with four people from the firm, but were released without being charged. They could have faced up to a year in prison for suspicion of criminal simulation.

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