Goat is as surprised as we are


goat says noA Brazil­ian man is going to marry his pet goat. The 74-year-old man, who has been mar­ried four times (to 2-legged females), will wed his beloved goat “Carmelita” on Octo­ber 13th. He says he has been in love with Carmelita for two years and says a goat has advan­tages over a human wife. “When some­one says it’s wrong, I reply the goat does not speak, ask for money to go shop­ping and doesn’t get preg­nant,” says the father of eight. The cer­e­mony will be con­ducted by a bishop call­ing him­self Tom Devil, who said the pair will not be con­sum­mat­ing the mar­riage.  “He just needs a companion.”

37-year-old Daniel Clavin says he woke up with the hic­cups the morn­ing after going out drink­ing with his pals. The hic­cups come about seven sec­onds apart, and some­times they’ve been so vio­lent he’s passed out. And poor Daniel has spent many nights in the guest room so his wife can get some rest. Daniel is wait­ing to get an MRI so doc­tors can deter­mine if he has a seri­ous med­ical condition.

If you’re going to fake your own abduc­tion, you might want let one of your friends know before the police come call­ing. Two British women were arrested in Por­tu­gal ear­lier this week when their 40th-birthday stunt set off a panic. They were on vaca­tion with a num­ber of friends when a van pulled up, and two masked men jumped out, pulled them in and sped away. Wit­nesses flooded police lines with calls about the kid­nap­ping, and a man­hunt ensued. But it turned out the women had hired a local events orga­nizer to pull off the prank as a way to spice up their hol­i­day. They were arrested, along with four peo­ple from the firm, but were released with­out being charged. They could have faced up to a year in prison for sus­pi­cion of crim­i­nal simulation.

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