Hamburgler turns out to be just ham


A Florida man showed just how dumb a smart-phone can be after he was charged with sev­eral felonies – for tak­ing part in the theft of a truck –then brag­ging about the crime by tex­ting a pic­ture of it to his pals.  Billy Ray Southard texted friends with a pic­ture of a 1995 GMC truck cap­tioned with the mes­sage: “Look what I just picked up.” This drew some atten­tion, since the vehi­cle had been reported stolen just a short time ear­lier. Cops went to the home where Southard lives with his par­ents and found the vehi­cle, which had its plates and VIN num­ber changed in an effort to dis­guise it. Accord­ing to police, Southard admit­ted his par­tic­i­pa­tion in the thefts after he was arrested.

North Charleston police say a 54-year-old woman, whose name was not released, argued with a 64-year-old man because he wouldn’t stop play­ing Eagles tunes. Police said the woman then armed her­self with a kitchen knife and attacked the man, her for­mer boyfriend, caus­ing injuries includ­ing lac­er­a­tions to his arm, elbow and hand. Inves­ti­ga­tors said the man and a friend were able to restrain the woman, but she got away and retrieved another knife, which she used to resume the attack. The police report said “all par­ties involved were intox­i­cated.” The woman was arrested on a charge of crim­i­nal domes­tic vio­lence of a high and aggra­vated nature. Well, you know what they say “You can check-out any time you like, but you can never leave!”

hamburglerMove over, Ham­bur­gler*, you’ve just been out­done! Felix Becerra who punched out for the day as the man­ager of a Cal­i­for­nia McDonald’s, then returned to rob the restau­rant at gun­point cov­ered his face with a white mask dur­ing the stick-up, in which he forced three employ­ees to open a safe, then herded them into a freezer, warn­ing them not to come out for 30 min­utes. Though he man­aged to get away with that heist, Becerra got busted when he went back for a refill at another Mickey D’s, where an employee gave the same descrip­tion as in the first — and got a look at his car as well.  Cops appre­hended Becerra and, after some grilling, found the cash and a toy gun in his vehi­cle. *man in pic­ture is not, in fact, the real Ham­bur­gler.  Nor is he F. Becerra.  How­ever, he looks just as ridicu­lous as we could imag­ine.

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