He didn't axe nicely

So, you’re driving along the highway minding your own beeswax when suddenly an axe flies through your AXE through windsheildwindshield. That’s what happened to a driver at about 11 a.m. Wednesday on southbound Interstate 95 in Topsfield, MASS. A corner of its blade stuck in the passenger side of the car’s dashboard. The handle was sticking through the windshield. Police say the car’s passenger was “shaken up” but not hurt. A truck driver was cited for failing to secure the axe to his dump truck. He was fined $200 and probably sent a cleaning bill.


A PETA employee in Tennessee has a bone to pick with that state’s Department of Motor Vehicles, which denied her a vanity license plate proclaiming her love for tofu … over fears she loved to get nasty! Whitney Calk, a vegan, filed an application to get a plate reading “ILVTOFU” – but authorities rejected the request outright, thinking that the message was more about the bedroom than about the kitchen. She says, “All I’m trying to do is spread a pro-vegan message with my license plate. It just seemed logical to change my license plate to something I believed in.” I believe in tofu???


Indiana man 32-year-old Terrence Lewis surrendered to police on attempted murder charges, but before doing so he had apparently stuffed small bags of tobacco and marijuana in his nether regions. Officers noticed something sticking out and that’s when Lewis pulled it out and shoved it into his mouth so that cops wouldn’t get it. He was ordered to spit it out, which he did, and was then charged with narcotics possession. The following day, Lewis got in trouble again after he beat up a 60-year-old cell mate because the man was passing gas. So, it’s OK to put a bag that’s been in HIS butt in HIS mouth but when he has to smell someone else’s booty he freaks out. Seems like a double standard to me. The victim was transported to a hospital while Lewis was given an additional charge of battery.

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