Hey, that's no banana!!

Accord­ing to wit­nesses, Luis Gonzaga’s un-apeeling behav­ior started when he walked into the farm­ers’ mar­ket and made his pri­vate parts bananavery pub­lic, then briefly cov­ered his crotch with a plas­tic bag. He then approached a female cus­tomer and rubbed against her – although she says she ini­tially assumed the man was acci­den­tally brush­ing her with a bag of pro­duce. When she dis­cov­ered the truth and screamed, cops were sum­moned to the scene to arrest Gon­zaga, who insisted the expo­sure was an acci­dent – while admit­ting he found the vic­tim “very attrac­tive.” He’s been hit with charges of lewd or las­civ­i­ous exhi­bi­tion, inde­cent expo­sure and bat­tery. Bail was set at $106,500


Lidia Zuradzka entered the victim’s home through an unlocked door and made enough noise to rouse the owner from a deep sleep in order to inves­ti­gate the com­mo­tion. When she came down­stairs, she saw Zuradzka stand­ing in the liv­ing room drink­ing a can of beer that had been left on a table. When the home­owner asked Zuradzka what she was doing, the 52-year-old responded, “I want beer.” It’s prob­a­bly the most expen­sive one she’ll ever have too…She has a past record of tres­pass­ing and is being held on $100,000 bond.
Accord­ing to Auburn police, 22-year-old Lynsey Horne fell asleep on some rail­road tracks and was not injured when “a train passed over her.” Offi­cer Dorsey said Horne’s slight frame may have kept her from get­ting injured. Horne was charged with dis­or­derly con­duct for caus­ing a dis­rup­tion because the train had to be stopped and an ambu­lance needed to be called. She was also charged with pub­lic intox­i­ca­tion. The lucky lady was taken to a hos­pi­tal for exam­i­na­tion just in case.

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