Hey, that's no banana!!

According to witnesses, Luis Gonzaga’s un-apeeling behavior started when he walked into the farmers’ market and made his private parts bananavery public, then briefly covered his crotch with a plastic bag. He then approached a female customer and rubbed against her – although she says she initially assumed the man was accidentally brushing her with a bag of produce. When she discovered the truth and screamed, cops were summoned to the scene to arrest Gonzaga, who insisted the exposure was an accident – while admitting he found the victim “very attractive.” He’s been hit with charges of lewd or lascivious exhibition, indecent exposure and battery. Bail was set at $106,500


Lidia Zuradzka entered the victim’s home through an unlocked door and made enough noise to rouse the owner from a deep sleep in order to investigate the commotion. When she came downstairs, she saw Zuradzka standing in the living room drinking a can of beer that had been left on a table. When the homeowner asked Zuradzka what she was doing, the 52-year-old responded, “I want beer.” It’s probably the most expensive one she’ll ever have too…She has a past record of trespassing and is being held on $100,000 bond.
According to Auburn police, 22-year-old Lynsey Horne fell asleep on some railroad tracks and was not injured when “a train passed over her.” Officer Dorsey said Horne’s slight frame may have kept her from getting injured. Horne was charged with disorderly conduct for causing a disruption because the train had to be stopped and an ambulance needed to be called. She was also charged with public intoxication. The lucky lady was taken to a hospital for examination just in case.

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