Is that a bottle of pee in your pocket or...wait....

Eugene Rakow was working on a deck when he fired a 3 1/2-inch nail into his chest.  He had the gun at an angle, chest level, and it jumped while he still had his hand on the trigger. It impaled the nail in my chest.”He said it didn’t hurt “that bad” at first. He did make it to the hospital in time but the surgeon said that nine out of 10 people wouldn’t make it.” It turns out the nail came within 2 millimeters of a coronary artery!

pee bottleA Connecticut man was arrested last week after he tried to turn a pre-school into a pee-school by wandering into the school with a bottle of urine hidden in his pants pocket. A bystander called cops to report a suspicious looking man hanging out on the playground outside the Stratford United Methodist Church school, and when they arrived on the scene, they spotted Nicholas Lewonczyk trying to get inside. He told officers that he was merely taking a shortcut to the church, where he planned to take a prayer break – and explained the bottle by saying that he always carried his urine around because people were trying to tamper with it. School officials said Lewonczyk was washing himself with water from a birdbath at the school before police arrived. He was taken to a nearby psychiatric facility for observation.

Florida man Brandon Rape [pr: rah-PAY] was relieving himself in the bushes when he got a gun shot blast in the upper thigh courtesy of his friend Jared Hemphill, who fired at what he thought was a snake the two guys had seen slithering across the road earlier! A cop who responded to the sound of the shot escorted their vehicle to the hospital, where doctors decided to leave the .22-caliber bullet in Brandon’s leg. He decided not to press charges against Hemphill.

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