Its Ding Dong day at the museum


Jonah Fal­con – also known as the man with the world’s largest ding dong – has agreed to donate it to CMAP20120831H-026_C.jpg Gordon Spence HAS GROWN A VERY LARGE CUCUMBERthe Ice­landic Phal­lo­log­i­cal Museum after his death.  Falcon’s fam­ily jew­els will join the museum’s col­lec­tion, which includes more than 300 penises from more than 93 dif­fer­ent ani­mals, rang­ing in size from a two-millimeter ham­ster unit to a six-foot whale wee­nie.  I’d hate to be the sucker that has to stuff it for dis­play.

Jeff Wooten, walked into an Atlanta-area restau­rant with a pitch­fork and used it to herd cus­tomers and employ­ees into a back room so that he could get to the cash register. When he couldn’t open it, he grabbed the entire reg­is­ter and car­ried it out of the restau­rant. But while mak­ing a run for it, he dropped the pitch­fork, which was picked up by a Waf­fle House employee who then started beat­ing him with it. Some­how he still man­aged to get away and now cops are search­ing for him.

Accord­ing to the West Vir­ginia Hunt­ing­ton Police Depart­ment, Christo­pher Ander­son woke up in the bath­room of the C&O Credit Union and real­ized he was locked inside.  Flash­back: ear­lier in the day the 32-year-old went into the bank and for what­ever rea­son he thought the bath­room would be a good place to do some heroin.  The drug had other plans and he passed out.  When Ander­son woke up, he called the police to come let him out. He was arrested for mis­de­meanor pos­ses­sion of a con­trolled sub­stance and an out­stand­ing war­rant.  

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