It's not a robbery, it's a free country!

bag-over-headCops bagged a Florida man on charges of trespassing at a pharmacy with a paper bag over his head and refusing to leave because, as he put it, “it’s a free country.” A CVS employee called cops after Clayton Schwey wandered into the store while in the bag and causing a ruckus. The worker called 911 to report that she thought the store was going to be robbed, so they responded to the scene and found Schwey sitting outside on the curb, still holding the bag. Schwey, who was uncooperative during questioning, told cops that he needed the bag disguise because he worked for some combination of the CIA, DEA and FBI, but couldn’t provide a fixed address because he was homeless.

You don’t need a knife to eat an Egg McMuffin, but a New York man brought one with him anyway – stuck in his back. Customers at a McDonald’s in Queens were shocked and horrified when a man walked in wearing a bloodied white T-shirt and a kitchen knife stuck in between his shoulder blades. Police say witnesses saw the man arguing with two others down the block just minutes before he stumbled into the McDonald’s. One witness said he appeared to be talking on his phone, saying his final goodbyes. Some quick-thinking customers jumped up from their seats and helped the man to the floor, making sure he didn’t fall on his back. Emergency responders took him to a nearby hospital, where he is listed in serious condition.

A woman has been banned for life from entering the Memphis Zoo after her repeated efforts to hang out with the lions and feed them cookies. Zoo officials say the woman was first spotted throwing objects into the lion exhibit and was asked to leave. But she came back, and this time she climbed the barrier and got close enough to the lions to feed them cookies and sing to them. Some other zoo visitors called security who escorted her out of the zoo. She’s been told never to come back and employees have been told to keep a look out for her.

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