It's not a robbery, it's a free country!

bag-over-headCops bagged a Florida man on charges of tres­pass­ing at a phar­macy with a paper bag over his head and refus­ing to leave because, as he put it, “it’s a free coun­try.” A CVS employee called cops after Clay­ton Schwey wan­dered into the store while in the bag and caus­ing a ruckus. The worker called 911 to report that she thought the store was going to be robbed, so they responded to the scene and found Schwey sit­ting out­side on the curb, still hold­ing the bag. Schwey, who was unco­op­er­a­tive dur­ing ques­tion­ing, told cops that he needed the bag dis­guise because he worked for some com­bi­na­tion of the CIA, DEA and FBI, but couldn’t pro­vide a fixed address because he was homeless.

You don’t need a knife to eat an Egg McMuf­fin, but a New York man brought one with him any­way – stuck in his back. Cus­tomers at a McDonald’s in Queens were shocked and hor­ri­fied when a man walked in wear­ing a blood­ied white T-shirt and a kitchen knife stuck in between his shoul­der blades. Police say wit­nesses saw the man argu­ing with two oth­ers down the block just min­utes before he stum­bled into the McDonald’s. One wit­ness said he appeared to be talk­ing on his phone, say­ing his final good­byes. Some quick-thinking cus­tomers jumped up from their seats and helped the man to the floor, mak­ing sure he didn’t fall on his back. Emer­gency respon­ders took him to a nearby hos­pi­tal, where he is listed in seri­ous condition.

A woman has been banned for life from enter­ing the Mem­phis Zoo after her repeated efforts to hang out with the lions and feed them cook­ies. Zoo offi­cials say the woman was first spot­ted throw­ing objects into the lion exhibit and was asked to leave. But she came back, and this time she climbed the bar­rier and got close enough to the lions to feed them cook­ies and sing to them. Some other zoo vis­i­tors called secu­rity who escorted her out of the zoo. She’s been told never to come back and employ­ees have been told to keep a look out for her.

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