Jesus's toenails a bust!

An Indiana crook may have set the Guinness World Record for speediest confession – by copping to a robbery three hours before he committed it!  Eric Logan Steffey walked into a gas station and told the clerk on duty that he was planning to come back later that day to rob  the place. After hearing the suspicious comment, the clerk took note of Steffey’s license number and notified cops, who stepped up patrols – and only had to wait three hours for Steffey to return on foot, carrying a handgun. Steffey actually managed to go through with the stickup, since the officer on the scene “turned away … for what must have been ten seconds,” but he was caught within minutes and charged with armed robbery.

An Arkansas business owner ended up behind bars after being caught talking out of his butt … about wanting to kill a former employee, who listened in on the plot after getting a butt-dial that revealed all the details!  Larry Barnett decided he needed to rub out an ex-employee and found a willing hit man, but made the mistake of sitting down to negotiate the murder while his cell phone was in his pocket. The misplaced device dialed the intended victim, who listened in for 90 minutes as Barnett went through every step of the crime, saying, “I don’t care if you have to burn his house to the ground with him in it. Make it look like an accident.” Understandably upset, the man fled his home and went to cops, who went to investigate and found the place had been burglarized and the gas stove had been tampered with. Barnett has been charged with conspiracy to commit murder.

toenailsA Florida man really put his foot in it when he tried to raise some extra cash through an eBay listing claiming to sell toenails clipped directly from Jesus Christ. The seller, who did not offer a full name, says that he was moved to check out the artifacts while on a trip to the Czech Republic, where he was approached by an elderly psychic with “moles on the side of her face with hairs sticking out of them, which indicated she was very, very old.” He didn’t reveal his original purchase price for the clippings, but thought he was a shoe-in for big bucks – which haven’t materialized, since the highest bid he received was 99 cents.

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