Jesus's toenails a bust!

An Indi­ana crook may have set the Guin­ness World Record for speed­i­est con­fes­sion – by cop­ping to a rob­bery three hours before he com­mit­ted it!  Eric Logan Stef­fey walked into a gas sta­tion and told the clerk on duty that he was plan­ning to come back later that day to rob  the place. After hear­ing the sus­pi­cious com­ment, the clerk took note of Steffey’s license num­ber and noti­fied cops, who stepped up patrols – and only had to wait three hours for Stef­fey to return on foot, car­ry­ing a hand­gun. Stef­fey actu­ally man­aged to go through with the stickup, since the offi­cer on the scene “turned away … for what must have been ten sec­onds,” but he was caught within min­utes and charged with armed robbery.

An Arkansas busi­ness owner ended up behind bars after being caught talk­ing out of his butt … about want­ing to kill a for­mer employee, who lis­tened in on the plot after get­ting a butt-dial that revealed all the details!  Larry Bar­nett decided he needed to rub out an ex-employee and found a will­ing hit man, but made the mis­take of sit­ting down to nego­ti­ate the mur­der while his cell phone was in his pocket. The mis­placed device dialed the intended vic­tim, who lis­tened in for 90 min­utes as Bar­nett went through every step of the crime, say­ing, “I don’t care if you have to burn his house to the ground with him in it. Make it look like an acci­dent.” Under­stand­ably upset, the man fled his home and went to cops, who went to inves­ti­gate and found the place had been bur­glar­ized and the gas stove had been tam­pered with. Bar­nett has been charged with con­spir­acy to com­mit murder.

toenailsA Florida man really put his foot in it when he tried to raise some extra cash through an eBay list­ing claim­ing to sell toe­nails clipped directly from Jesus Christ. The seller, who did not offer a full name, says that he was moved to check out the arti­facts while on a trip to the Czech Repub­lic, where he was approached by an elderly psy­chic with “moles on the side of her face with hairs stick­ing out of them, which indi­cated she was very, very old.” He didn’t reveal his orig­i­nal pur­chase price for the clip­pings, but thought he was a shoe-in for big bucks – which haven’t mate­ri­al­ized, since the high­est bid he received was 99 cents.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Unknown source