karma lends a finger

A Penn­syl­va­nia school dis­trict went into cri­sis mode yes­ter­day over a shoot­ing “threat.” High school stu­dent Travis Claw­son, 19, unwit­tingly found him­self the sub­ject of a man­hunt when the recep­tion­ist at his eye doctor’s office called to con­firm an upcom­ing appoint­ment and got his voice­mail. The greet­ing, to her ears, said he couldn’t come to the phone because he was “shoot­ing peo­ple out­side of the school.” The mes­sage was actu­ally Clawson’s ren­di­tion of Will Smith’s line that he was “shoot­ing some b-ball out­side of the school.” But police didn’t real­ize that until after they’d locked down all the schools in the county, and sent a swarm of offi­cers to appre­hend the unsus­pect­ing Claw­son, who was in his guid­ance counselor’s office. After an inter­ro­ga­tion, and close inspec­tion of the voice­mail mes­sage, they decided not to press charges

A man was stand­ing in front of his house when Miguel Ortiz and Ser­gio Mal­don­ado walked up to him, bran­dished a gun and demanded he drive them around doing errands, cul­mi­nat­ing with a stop at the Bare Ele­gance gentlemen’s club. When they arrived there, they took the man’s wal­let – prob­a­bly hop­ing for a wad of sin­gles – and went inside. Their evening of carous­ing was nipped in the bud by cops show­ing up a short time later, and both were hauled off to the pokey.

pinkyA New Mex­ico, Leando Sage was fight­ing with his girl­friend when her brother, iden­ti­fied as Robert Mar­tinez, inter­vened. The two men began to tus­sle, and Sage decided to do more than just mouth off, chomp­ing down on Martinez’s pinkie, sev­er­ing it at the first joint. Sage fled the scene after fig­ur­ing out he’d bit­ten off more than he could chew, then ran into the street, where he was blind­sided by an oncom­ing vehi­cle. He was treated and released at a local hos­pi­tal, but arrested on assault charges.

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