Lawless kisses


dog noseOne of Peggy Hill’s neigh­bors called 911 to report that she’d begun dis­man­tling the fence between their prop­er­ties with­out per­mis­sion, so the dis­patcher sent an offi­cer to inves­ti­gate. When he arrived on the scene, Hill approached him and gave him a big wet kiss on his nose!  Accord­ing to the police report that also says, “He stepped away from her, wiped off the saliva off from his nose, attempted to take her into cus­tody and she started to strug­gle with him.” The woman, who admit­ted to hav­ing three or so glasses of wine before the inci­dent, was charged with felony assault.

Super­heroes are fine to have around, but a 60-year-old neigh­bor who’s handy with a sledge­ham­mer will do in a pinch. Wichita police say that when the 60-year-old woman heard her 48-year-old neigh­bor cry for help from the apart­ment next door, she bolted over to help. When she arrived, a man who was sex­u­ally assault­ing her friend hit her over the head with some kind of chain. Though she suf­fered minor injuries, the woman still man­aged to pick up a sledge­ham­mer and chuck it at the assailant! She missed, but he ran. Police later caught up with him and charged him with rape and assault.

A North Dakota woman got her day off to a crappy start when she walked into her kitchen to make break­fast, only to find a naked stranger using her dish towel to wipe his torso!  Gabrielle Thib­ert says that she’d locked her door, but that didn’t stop Cory Coste from sneak­ing in after a long night of sub­stance abuse. The man didn’t dis­play any aggres­sion and just mean­dered over to the couch, where he pro­ceeded to pass out, still cov­ered in his own poop, until offi­cers arrived. The fecal mat­ter became a legal mat­ter when Coste was charged with crim­i­nal tres­pass and crim­i­nal mischief.

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