Monday 03/12

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An Iowa man showed off his cheesiest side by shoplifting an armful of beer and snacks from a convenience store — and then spreading a jar of stolen cheese dip all over the store’s bathroom.  Blake Robinson took his bounty into the can in order to chow down, and then decided the Tostitos Salsa Con Queso would be better suited to an art project than a meal. Cops arrived on the scene and told Robinson to spread ’em. The 28-year-old, who “appeared highly intoxicated,” was charged with committing criminal mischief.

Bradley Colas, an off-duty Virginia cop attacked firefighters and demanding an audience with Jesus while under the influence of drugs — antibiotics he was taking for his bronchitis! Bradley Colas was on his way toPhiladelphia, where he says he had an appointment to meet with the Man Upstairs, when he crashed his car. Undeterred, he began walking down the highway, waving a gun and demanding to be driven to the city of brotherly love. When the firefighters tried to help calm Colas down, he pulled out a knife and stabbed them, inflicting minor wounds, because he thought they were demons.  He’s currently under observation at a psychiatric hospital.

There’s a jail sentence on tap for a Florida crook that broke into a parked mini-van and stole an armful of CDs and a sports bag.  It’s possible he may have gotten away with it too but there was only one problem for Ahmad “Ace” Braxton.  He left a half-finished Steel Reserve malt liquor in the front passenger seat of the vehicle. Cops quickly submitted the can for analysis and turned up Braxton’s name in their database.

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