Monday 11/19

An Ontario police offi­cer found him­self adding Dr. to his resume when he pulled over a woman for speed­ing out­side a gro­cery store. Obvi­ously, she was on her way to the hos­pi­tal and with his help, the lady ended up giv­ing birth to a baby boy right there on the side of the road! Both are doing fine and are now at a hospital.

An orange turned out to be bad for an Ohio man’s health.  Christo­pher Lilje showed up at a local emer­gency room with a blade stuck about three inches into his right pec­toral mus­cle. His mother, who accom­pa­nied him to the hos­pi­tal, told cops that she woke to the sound of her son’s screams, then rushed down­stairs and found him lying on the floor, the knife pro­trud­ing from his chest. Turns out he was peel­ing the orange and had tripped over his sleep­ing dog while hold­ing the knife.  Lilje did not suf­fer life threat­en­ing injuries, but said, “I’m a lit­tle sore.”

A Rhode Island man will have plenty of time to brush up on the U.S. his­tory lessons he clearly skipped – now that he’s behind bars for try­ing to pass fake $100 bills bear­ing Abe Lincoln’s face instead of Ben­jamin Franklin’s. Dana Leland was busted after a cashier at a Tar­get store noticed the phony money and called secu­rity. He pled inno­cent on all counts, and his attor­ney is ask­ing for leniency, claim­ing he had recently had a relapse into drug addic­tion after a long period of sobriety.

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