Monday 1/21

Police received a number of complaints of a man man running through the parking lot of the Lucky supermarket around 4:25 a.m. Witnesses described the man “not wearing pants or possibly just underpants and wearing a ‘Scooby-Doo’ or bear-type head mask,” police said. When officers Miguel Sanchez and Mike Gilfoy arrived at the scene they indeed found a man wearing a Scooby-Doo mask, along with a black leather dog collar and leash and khaki-colored pants. When asked what he was doing, the man told officers that “he had recently lost weight and wanted to show off his new body,” police said. The man, whose name was not reported, was let go after the officers determined no crime had been committed.

Musician Nadav Nirenberg had left his iPhone in the back seat of a cab and had no luck in getting it back, despite calling several times to offer a reward to whoever picked it up. He then noticed that the guy who did find it had begun using it to access his dating profile in a “creepy and disturbing” way – leading him to create a fake account as a female in order to lure the creep into a trap and retrieve the phone. The plan worked like a charm, and the guy showed up for a romantic evening doused in cologne and carrying a bottle of wine – as well as the phone, which he turned over without much of a fight. Nirenberg added, “As he was walking away, I said, ‘You smell great, though.'”

A 75-year-old English woman misplaced her dentures and couldn’t find them anywhere. It was around this time that she began to feel ill and started having trouble breathing. Nermin Keating went to the doctor complaining of respiratory problems and was diagnosed with a lung infection and put on antibiotics. But it didn’t go away. She made trips to three more doctors who checked her out and put her on more antibiotics. Eventually, she visited one more doctor who actually looked down her throat and noticed the false teeth wedged in there. Finally, the last doctor pulled the teeth out, but only after they had been in her throat for nine weeks.

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