Monday 1/21

Police received a num­ber of com­plaints of a man man run­ning through the park­ing lot of the Lucky super­mar­ket around 4:25 a.m. Wit­nesses described the man “not wear­ing pants or pos­si­bly just under­pants and wear­ing a ‘Scooby-Doo’ or bear-type head mask,” police said. When offi­cers Miguel Sanchez and Mike Gil­foy arrived at the scene they indeed found a man wear­ing a Scooby-Doo mask, along with a black leather dog col­lar and leash and khaki-colored pants. When asked what he was doing, the man told offi­cers that “he had recently lost weight and wanted to show off his new body,” police said. The man, whose name was not reported, was let go after the offi­cers deter­mined no crime had been committed.

Musi­cian Nadav Niren­berg had left his iPhone in the back seat of a cab and had no luck in get­ting it back, despite call­ing sev­eral times to offer a reward to who­ever picked it up. He then noticed that the guy who did find it had begun using it to access his dat­ing pro­file in a “creepy and dis­turb­ing” way – lead­ing him to cre­ate a fake account as a female in order to lure the creep into a trap and retrieve the phone. The plan worked like a charm, and the guy showed up for a roman­tic evening doused in cologne and car­ry­ing a bot­tle of wine – as well as the phone, which he turned over with­out much of a fight. Niren­berg added, “As he was walk­ing away, I said, ‘You smell great, though.’”

A 75-year-old Eng­lish woman mis­placed her den­tures and couldn’t find them any­where. It was around this time that she began to feel ill and started hav­ing trou­ble breath­ing. Ner­min Keat­ing went to the doc­tor com­plain­ing of res­pi­ra­tory prob­lems and was diag­nosed with a lung infec­tion and put on antibi­otics. But it didn’t go away. She made trips to three more doc­tors who checked her out and put her on more antibi­otics. Even­tu­ally, she vis­ited one more doc­tor who actu­ally looked down her throat and noticed the false teeth wedged in there. Finally, the last doc­tor pulled the teeth out, but only after they had been in her throat for nine weeks.

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