Talk about a hair of the dog that bit you: A New Zealand man went into surgery after literally drinking himself blind this summer! Denis Duthie, 65, was celebrating his parents’ 50th wedding anniversary by drinking vodka—when he suddenly found he had “gone completely blind,” he says. “I thought it had got dark and I’d missed out on a bit of time but it was only about half past three in the afternoon.“At the hospital doctors realized Duthie probably had methanol poisoning from the vodka, which reacted badly with his diabetes medication. They wanted to treat it with ethanol, a common type of alcohol, but didn’t have any—so the registrar ran out for a bottle of Johnny Walker Black Whiskey. Doctors dripped it into Duthie’s stomach through a tube, and lo and behold, he could see again five days later.
Cops are on the lookout for two suspects who robbed a convenience store clerk with the deadliest of weapons. The man and woman, described as white and in their early 20s, entered a store attached to a gas station and tried to sneak off with some bottles of Olde English malt liquor, but were spotted by the clerk, who went over to confront them. When the worker said he planned to call 911 if the pair didn’t hit the road immediately, the male pulled out a ukulele and cold-cocked him. The victim suffered a severe scalp laceration. The suspects fled before officers arrived. And the ukulele? It was destroyed.
Gabriel Bautista dropped the two packages at a FedEx store, intending for the usual overnight delivery, but when more than two weeks went by with no sign of the boxes, he decided to call and have them traced – which they were … straight to the customs department, which had seized them. You see they were packed with three kilos of meth and a whole mess of cocaine. Bautista gave his contact info, which had not been placed on the packages themselves, and FedEx contacted authorities, who swung by to inform him of their status, as well as his own – which was busted.