Monday 1/28

Author­i­ties look­ing for ter­ror­ists on a cruise ship didn’t find any, but did man­age to scratch one name off their most wanted list – a woman who had an out­stand­ing war­rant … for steal­ing a pack of cig­a­rettes more than two decades ago. Robin Hall and her fam­ily had just com­pleted a vaca­tion on the Dis­ney Dream and were dis­em­bark­ing when police pulled her aside and informed her that the jig was up. She’d failed to pay the $85 fine assessed for the shoplift­ing offense, and was taken to jail – because she was arrested in a county other than the one she was ini­tially con­victed in, and the paper­work couldn’t be taken care of on the spot.Since aban­don­ing her life of crime, Hall man­aged to get a col­lege degree and a job design­ing jet engines, nei­ther of which kept her out of the pokey last week.

A teenage girl was strolling through Brook­lyn when a trio of teenage boys grabbed her iPhone from her hand. She quickly reported the theft to police, who escorted her in their car to look for the cul­prits. Mean­while, one of the boys, car­ry­ing the phone, approached a man who appeared ready to buy it. Rather than pay­ing for it, how­ever, the man stole it and fled. The boy then had the gump­tion to go to police him­self, say­ing his phone had been stolen. Cops found the man and took him to a police sta­tion, along with the boy.  Soon after, offi­cer Denisse Pacheco—who was with the orig­i­nal victim—called the phone; in the ensu­ing con­ver­sa­tion, both offi­cers real­ized what was going on. Pacheco and the girl headed to the sta­tion, where the girl iden­ti­fied the boy, then put her PIN in the phone—something the boy wasn’t able to do.

Sad SnowmanOne “snow­day” activ­ity you absolutely want to avoid!  A 64-year-old British man got frost­bite on his willy after a roman­tic inter­lude … with a snow­man.  Ken­neth Guille­spie got him­self good and drunk one night, was feel­ing a lit­tle randy as he was walk­ing home, and said to him­self, “That’s one sexy snow­man!” We’re pretty sure you can fig­ure out the rest. Guille­spie was found half-naked, sur­rounded by beer bot­tles, and scream­ing in agony next to the 5-foot snow­man. Accord­ing to the hos­pi­tal where he was treated, Guille­spie is “still in one piece.” He’s not fac­ing any crim­i­nal charges – but word has it that the neigh­bor­hood is giv­ing him the cold shoulder.

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