Monday 1/28

Authorities looking for terrorists on a cruise ship didn’t find any, but did manage to scratch one name off their most wanted list – a woman who had an outstanding warrant … for stealing a pack of cigarettes more than two decades ago. Robin Hall and her family had just completed a vacation on the Disney Dream and were disembarking when police pulled her aside and informed her that the jig was up. She’d failed to pay the $85 fine assessed for the shoplifting offense, and was taken to jail – because she was arrested in a county other than the one she was initially convicted in, and the paperwork couldn’t be taken care of on the spot.Since abandoning her life of crime, Hall managed to get a college degree and a job designing jet engines, neither of which kept her out of the pokey last week.

A teenage girl was strolling through Brooklyn when a trio of teenage boys grabbed her iPhone from her hand. She quickly reported the theft to police, who escorted her in their car to look for the culprits. Meanwhile, one of the boys, carrying the phone, approached a man who appeared ready to buy it. Rather than paying for it, however, the man stole it and fled. The boy then had the gumption to go to police himself, saying his phone had been stolen. Cops found the man and took him to a police station, along with the boy.  Soon after, officer Denisse Pacheco—who was with the original victim—called the phone; in the ensuing conversation, both officers realized what was going on. Pacheco and the girl headed to the station, where the girl identified the boy, then put her PIN in the phone—something the boy wasn’t able to do.

Sad SnowmanOne “snowday” activity you absolutely want to avoid!  A 64-year-old British man got frostbite on his willy after a romantic interlude … with a snowman.  Kenneth Guillespie got himself good and drunk one night, was feeling a little randy as he was walking home, and said to himself, “That’s one sexy snowman!” We’re pretty sure you can figure out the rest. Guillespie was found half-naked, surrounded by beer bottles, and screaming in agony next to the 5-foot snowman. According to the hospital where he was treated, Guillespie is “still in one piece.” He’s not facing any criminal charges – but word has it that the neighborhood is giving him the cold shoulder.

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