Monday 5/14


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A pair of wanna-be car­jack­ers inWash­ing­ton, D.C, found that their get­away was any­thing but auto­matic. The men forced the dri­ver and pas­sen­ger out of the car and into the trunk, but brought one out to drive when con­fronted with the stick shift. While he drove them part-way to their des­ti­na­tion, he bolted the scene, leav­ing them to fend for them­selves — and leav­ing his female friend in the trunk. The car­jack­ers tried to mas­ter the stick in one easy les­son, but failed and took off themselves.

 

A Florida man who hit the high seas in order to bring home a seafood din­ner man­aged to do just that on dry land — by tak­ing his trawler to a super­mar­ket. The uniden­ti­fied trawler drove up to the mar­ket tow­ing his fish­ing boat and headed straight to the seafood cor­ner, where he and a pal ordered up a mess of chow. While his pal piled his por­tion of the take into a shop­ping cart and wan­dered away, the felo­nious fish­er­man decided he’d like his shrimp stuffed — into his shorts, that is. The shrimp-stealing sailor remains at large.  

 

A Florida woman had a taste of true love, so she tried to get one more — by bit­ing a chunk out of her boyfriend’s leg when he tried to break up with her. The 41-year-old woman, who was not iden­ti­fied, was said to be “highly intox­i­cated” when she ended an argu­ment with her live in beau by drop­ping to all fours and gnaw­ing on his leg hard enough to draw blood. When he ran, drip­ping pre­cious flu­ids, she grabbed a paint­ball gun and threat­ened him with that. Neigh­bors who heard the com­mo­tion called cops, and the woman was arrested on assault and bat­tery charges.

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