Monday 5/28

 65-year-old Gord Shurvell is recovering from long claw marks on his back and bite wounds to his shoulder and head. The hunter and fisherman from Winnipeg, Manitoba, was with a friend at a rural cabin near Sioux Lookout in northwestern Ontariositting in the outhouse when a bear suddenly appeared!  He said, “I left the door open because I was enjoying the view, and I was so happy!”  That he didn’t have to drop trough in a bush. The bear reached in and grabbed his ankles!  Shurvell said he wasn’t able to kick or defend himself well with his underwear and pants around his ankles. The bear began dragging him into the forest as Shurvell screamed for his friend, Daniel who rushed out with a rifle and distracted the bear so he could get a clear shot.  He shot the bear once in the head and killed it. Shurvell told the CBC he’s changing his outhouse habits and from now on he’ll   probably put up with the stench and shut the door.”

 Boxford police Lt. James Riter says he was responding to a call for loose cows and spotted them in a front yard. Riter says the herd high-tailed it for the backyard and then he heard screaming. He says when he ran back there he saw the cows had chased off some young adults. The cows had knocked the beer cans over on a table and were lapping up what spilled. He says they even started rooting around the recycled cans for some extra drops. Riter says the cows’ owner and some friends herded the cows back home. Damn drunken bovine.

A Wisconsinthief is in jail after he filmed himself admitting he stole a video camera from a Chris Rochester.  In the 79-second video, he explained “This is my house, yes, and a stolen camera that I stole. But it’s OK, the cop won’t figure it out.”  Then he adds, “Oh yeah, to introduce you, my name is Houaka (HO’-kah) Yang.” Turns out the police were already looking for him because initially they were tracking down Yang from surveillance tape of people breaking into his boss’ car. The 20-year-old now has three misdemeanor charges, including two theft

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