Monday 7/30

A New Mex­ico man was hauled in by cops after he drunk­enly crashed his car in a neighbor’s yard, and pro­ceeded to water her lawn – in an uncon­ven­tional, unsan­i­tary man­ner. The man, whose name was not released, drove into a dec­o­ra­tive wall at the side of the woman’s house, knock­ing down a 60-foot sec­tion, and emerged from the vehi­cle unhurt. Accord­ing to eye­wit­nesses, he stag­gered a few feet away, then unzipped his pants and uri­nated over a wide swath of the lawn. Sarah Bon­neau says the man showed up the next morn­ing to apol­o­gize, and admit he didn’t remem­ber any­thing about the incident.


The phrase “inflated body count’ took on new mean­ing for 18 cops in China’s Shan­dong Province.  The inci­dent hap­pened when offi­cers responded to a report that there was a lady in dis­tress in one of the province’s rivers. The crew worked fran­ti­cally for nearly an hour to res­cue the woman, accord­ing to Dig­i­tal Jour­nal, and in the process, attracted a crowd of about 1,000 curi­ous, excited and anx­ious spec­ta­tors to the scene. It took more than 40 min­utes before the offi­cers were able to  con­firm that they had indeed run around in a panic for nearly an hour over try­ing to res­cue someone’s blow-up girl­friend, the police pre­sented it to the anx­ious crowd, who­quickly cov­ered their children’s eyes and walked away..


A Florida man decided that the answer to the age-old ques­tion “What would Jesus do?” is “Attack his neigh­bor with a tire iron.”  Ken­neth David Peter­son, who claims to be Jesus, was charged with aggra­vated stalk­ing and assault after telling his next door neigh­bor that he was going after him with the tool because he could tell the man was the Anti-Christ. Peter­son has made the charge sev­eral times before, while bust­ing up Fred Padilla’s car with the same tire iron and shoot­ing at him with a BB gun. While cops have been called to Peterson’s home nine times because of the bizarre behav­ior, they’ve cited a lack of hard evi­dence for his not serv­ing any time. Padilla told a reporter, “This is head­ing for a really bad ending.”

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