Mr. fishy pants

Officials at the Denver Zoo say a woman was bitten on the hand by a black rhino named Mshindi during a “rhino experience” program that allows zoo visitors to feed the animal. Brian Aucone, the zoo’s vice president for animal care said, “Mshindi is a gentle animal. We believe this was an accident and that he was not trying to hurt anyone.” Nope, just trying to have lunch.

A crook in New Zealand walked into a grocery store wearing a onesie patterned with black and white spots designed to look like cowhide. He had two accomplices, both dressed as people, in tow as he strolled out the door with an armload of the pricey prime meat. A police spokesperson said that the cow print was pretty common, and the offender was “probably not intending to look like the beef they were stealing.”  Somewhere down the road a Chik Fil A manager is wondering where the cow suit disappeared to.

WET PANTSA man’s attempt to smuggle live tropical fish into New Zealand in his pants pockets floundered when water was spotted dripping from his clothes, officials have said. Port officials suspected something was fishy because liquid was seeping from the bulging pockets of his trousers! The man initially said he was carrying water from the plane because he was thirsty. However when questioned further and searched, customs officers found seven fish hidden in plastic bags in his pockets. The passenger told them he was bringing the fish into the country for a friend. The fish were all unidentified species. MPI spokesman Craig Hughes said the man will face charges under the Biosecurity Act, which carries maximum penalties of five years in jail or a hefty fine.  Hopefully security will just think I pee’d myself!

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