Mr. fishy pants

Offi­cials at the Den­ver Zoo say a woman was bit­ten on the hand by a black rhino named Mshindi dur­ing a “rhino expe­ri­ence” pro­gram that allows zoo vis­i­tors to feed the ani­mal. Brian Aucone, the zoo’s vice pres­i­dent for ani­mal care said, “Mshindi is a gen­tle ani­mal. We believe this was an acci­dent and that he was not try­ing to hurt any­one.” Nope, just try­ing to have lunch.

A crook in New Zealand walked into a gro­cery store wear­ing a one­sie pat­terned with black and white spots designed to look like cowhide. He had two accom­plices, both dressed as peo­ple, in tow as he strolled out the door with an arm­load of the pricey prime meat. A police spokesper­son said that the cow print was pretty com­mon, and the offender was “prob­a­bly not intend­ing to look like the beef they were steal­ing.”  Some­where down the road a Chik Fil A man­ager is won­der­ing where the cow suit dis­ap­peared to.

WET PANTSA man’s attempt to smug­gle live trop­i­cal fish into New Zealand in his pants pock­ets floun­dered when water was spot­ted drip­ping from his clothes, offi­cials have said. Port offi­cials sus­pected some­thing was fishy because liq­uid was seep­ing from the bulging pock­ets of his trousers! The man ini­tially said he was car­ry­ing water from the plane because he was thirsty. How­ever when ques­tioned fur­ther and searched, cus­toms offi­cers found seven fish hid­den in plas­tic bags in his pock­ets. The pas­sen­ger told them he was bring­ing the fish into the coun­try for a friend. The fish were all uniden­ti­fied species. MPI spokesman Craig Hughes said the man will face charges under the Biose­cu­rity Act, which car­ries max­i­mum penal­ties of five years in jail or a hefty fine.  Hope­fully secu­rity will just think I pee’d myself!

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