Iowa man Billy Eugene Williams was steering a mower erratically down the middle of one of Des Moines’ busiest streets, which attracted the attention of a passing patrol car. When pulled over, he admitted he’d downed a 12-pack of brewskis and was on his way to buy another. Williams failed a number of field tests, including standing on one leg and being unable to follow the officer’s finger with his eyes, before he blew a 0.16 on a Breathalyzer. He was taken to the county jail and held on $1,500 bail.
A guy was caught by customs agents in Sweden smuggling 3,400 liters of beer, 250 liters of hard alcohol, and 150 cartons of cigarettes across the border. He weaseled his way out of the situation by claiming it was all for personal use. After doing the math and figuring that nine liters of booze would have to be consumed each day for an entire year in order to get through the stash, police are officially not buying the story.
A prison inmate in Virginia took “butt dialing” to a whole new level when he helped a fellow prisoner stay in touch with family by smuggling a phone into the jail … inside his butt. Guards became suspicious when they spotted Shawn Jones in his cell, covered in his own feces, a mess he blamed on officers not taking him down the hall to the bathroom when he asked. Jones was taken to the prison’s medical facility, where an x-ray revealed the phone. The stunt added a year to his sentence … which is a real pain in the butt.