Not everyone can say they were swallowed by a hippo...

hippo_jay_parker17 years ago, travel guide Paul Templer was leading a group of clients in kayaks near Zimbabwe’s Victoria Falls when they encountered a rogue hippo, which flipped a colleague’s boat. Just before Paul reached the boat to save his fellow guide, he was engulfed in darkness … in a place he says was slimy and smelled of rotten eggs. Having realized he had been swallowed by the hippo, Paul somehow managed to escape during the animal’s next breath. But the hippo wasn’t going to let him get away without a fight, leaving Paul with almost 40 puncture wounds before the animal submerged again. Doctors initially believed that both Paul’s arms and part of his injured leg would have to be amputated. But in the end, he lost only his left arm. Paul still works as a travel guide today.

 A Florida man probably had a brief moment of joy when he gave the slip to the sheriff’s deputy chasing him. Then the alligator showed up. Police say Bryan Zuniga, 20, ran from his vehicle after a deputy pulled him over for weaving in traffic.  Zuniga hopped a fence and was gone. A few hours later, police got word that their man was being treated in the hospital after being bit in the face and arm by a ‘gator near a water-treatment plant. Zuniga is now recuperating in jail on a slew of charges including “injuring fences” and eluding an officer.

 Tyrone Helmwood thought it would be easy to hold up the chicken joint, but he didn’t account for quick-thinking cashier Joanna Petry-Tartnoski who threw a jar of chili sauce directly into his face, stunning and temporarily blinding him long enough for her to call cops. Helmwood’s father, who unsuccessfully tried to post bail for the young man, sympathized with the cashier. He said, “They poured hot chilli on his head? Good on them. I would have poured hot fat upon his head.”

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