Not everyone can say they were swallowed by a hippo...

hippo_jay_parker17 years ago, travel guide Paul Tem­pler was lead­ing a group of clients in kayaks near Zimbabwe’s Vic­to­ria Falls when they encoun­tered a rogue hippo, which flipped a colleague’s boat. Just before Paul reached the boat to save his fel­low guide, he was engulfed in dark­ness … in a place he says was slimy and smelled of rot­ten eggs. Hav­ing real­ized he had been swal­lowed by the hippo, Paul some­how man­aged to escape dur­ing the animal’s next breath. But the hippo wasn’t going to let him get away with­out a fight, leav­ing Paul with almost 40 punc­ture wounds before the ani­mal sub­merged again. Doc­tors ini­tially believed that both Paul’s arms and part of his injured leg would have to be ampu­tated. But in the end, he lost only his left arm. Paul still works as a travel guide today.

 A Florida man prob­a­bly had a brief moment of joy when he gave the slip to the sheriff’s deputy chas­ing him. Then the alli­ga­tor showed up. Police say Bryan Zuniga, 20, ran from his vehi­cle after a deputy pulled him over for weav­ing in traf­fic.  Zuniga hopped a fence and was gone. A few hours later, police got word that their man was being treated in the hos­pi­tal after being bit in the face and arm by a ‘gator near a water-treatment plant. Zuniga is now recu­per­at­ing in jail on a slew of charges includ­ing “injur­ing fences” and elud­ing an officer.

 Tyrone Helm­wood thought it would be easy to hold up the chicken joint, but he didn’t account for quick-thinking cashier Joanna Petry-Tartnoski who threw a jar of chili sauce directly into his face, stun­ning and tem­porar­ily blind­ing him long enough for her to call cops. Helmwood’s father, who unsuc­cess­fully tried to post bail for the young man, sym­pa­thized with the cashier. He said, “They poured hot chilli on his head? Good on them. I would have poured hot fat upon his head.”

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